salt, teak & fog

the creep of imagery

2012-01-25T09:52:00.000-08:00

I've become one of those people. Constantly fiddling with my iPhone, my soft addiction. All day, every day. Ever since I upgraded to the 4s, and gained access to all the best apps, you know, those that didn't stoop to the iPhone 3's level, the addiction's been growing. I used to tease Toby about constantly fiddling with some silly casual game on his phone... but now I should talk. He gives me The Look ("really? again with the phone?") now.

And, trust me, this bugs! I hate this. One of my top peeves is that post-modern inability to be in the moment, just put the phone down, stop checking, start seeing. Ugh. Not too long ago, I was that person who wouldn't know it if I had a text or vmail for hours: I just wouldn't check my phone that often, it would be stashed away in my purse, all sound muffled. I used to not check email all weekend. Now I'm never far from my phone and the checking is habitual. Like a trained animal looking for a cookie, I have my three favorite icons to tap, in this order: Instagram, Pinterest and email (so old skool). Maybe I'll cycle through them a couple of times. Tap, snap, comment, "like", giggle, scroll.

It kind of makes me sick and I should really be resolving to curb this new addiction. But, I'll be honest, I'm just not there yet. And, you know what? I'm really loving so much about the random streams of imagery and words that come my way each time I check and re-check. The quiet moments of someone's else's life, food pics that instantly determine what's for lunch... and simply inspiring images.

All the fiddling almost seems OK when a couple of visuals come through my feed together, from totally separate sources... but together they stop me in my tracks. Yesterday, two beauties danced down my screen, one after the other.

I had a flash in my mind... something's there. Something's percolating. Wings... that blue... inky... flattened... symmetrical. Hmmm.

This is how I work, letting little snippets of shape and color seep in and find some space in the back of my mind. If I'm lucky, something new emerges in time. It's a process, and iPhone be cursed or not, I'm liking it.

The Blue Bird roosts on my Work Inspiration board, via dear Tori, originally from Bird & Banner;
The kimono graces my fashion board, via Alice Q, originally from Triple Gemini on Etsy.

back in the saddle & renegade recap!

2012-01-19T13:14:00.000-08:00

As I recently posted to (my complete addiction, I admit it) Instagram, my long winter's nap is now officially over: I just re-opened my shop with a fresh lineup. Whee!

(umm, where did a month off go?)

OK, I wasn't exactly lounging the entire month. But there was a bit of extra toddler-snuggling and studio/office purging. Ahhh, I love a full-car trip to the Goodwill. But, after prepping frantically for my first-ever show at Renegade Holiday (recap to follow), I needed to catch my breath. And, then, I took a moment to take stock of what sold well last year (people (still) have chevron fever), what did great at Renegade (hello triangles and southwestern-y stuff) and what I want to try to do next. Oh, people... I have plans. My plans scare me in terms of scope--I am but one measly person, plans--but whatever I'm able to attack, I'm excited for it.

So, the new, refreshed, polished up shop is, as always, HERE.

Oh, one other update: all my listed wares are now ready to ship. (i.e., no more of this made-to-order business. It was fine for start-up, tough to manage forever.)

++++++++++++++

So, Renegade. I loved it. Before the application due date, I wasn't sure if it was "too soon" to jump into a show, because of all the work involved and being really very new. Toby and I talked it over and weighed the pros (selling stuff, brand exposure, obvious) and the cons (total disruption of our home leading up to already-disrupting holidays), and we took a chance and went for it.

I love taking a chance (though you should've seen the bags under my eyes!). And, I'm super glad I/we did it. A month off afterward didn't hurt either.

I didn't get the opportunity to walk the show much (unless you count baño breaks), and bought almost nothing (dang), but my experience as a seller was fun and worth all the work and late nights.

My takeaways:

1. As always, everyone is just so nice at Renegade. The sellers, the buyers, even the tagging-along boyfriends and husbands (did I mention they sell beer at this craft fair?), and especially the crew running the show. Niceness and genuine enthusiasm goes a long way in my book.

2. Next time, I need to prep and stockpile merch all year long. Being in complete start-up mode, there was a late night, every night for the final month pre-show.

3. Having a handy husband who can listen to my ideas and interpret my waving hands was a real luxury... he crafted all the beautiful reclaimed-wood booth components, and they were so warm and inviting. All I can say is thank you, Toby. And sorry about that screwed-up back! :/

4. Having friends and family come and visit/populate my booth in the early hours of the show was especially great. Loved that.

5. It makes sense in hindsight, but Renegade Holiday was 50% about selling people a nice handmade holiday gift, and 50% about meeting shop owners looking to carry wholesale. Wowzers, that was wonderful and unexpected. It would be uber-tacky to mention names at this point, but I hope to reveal some exciting stuff later in the year.

6. Making crafty friends (like Lynn, Shay and Samantha-yay!) in advance and at the show was worth just showing up for that. There wasn't much chance to talk shop, but I'll take what I can get ;) --Oh! I also was able to meet a couple of Etsy shop customers. Fun.

7. Re: Merch... more variety, larger range of price points. My new evil plans will address this one. But, I can't tell you how paranoid I was that I wasn't bringing enough of a given item. Which sounds all pompous, like I was figurin' on selling out of everything... I just mean, I didn't know what to expect, AND when you pay a not insignificant fee to be there, you don't want to run out of stuff on the first day and just be sitting there. Thankfully (I think), I didn't have that "problem." Only a few items were cleaned out. (Yay, triangles!)

8. Processing plastic through the Square app rocked.

9. Having a ruggedly handsome and/or pretty, stylish "booth babe" was so great. I would've been a wee bit shy sitting there, at my first show, all by my lonesome. Thank you, Toby and Robin (my ex-boss! how's that for supportive?) for the company, the wares-promotin', the coffee and the bathroom breaks. Yay team.

10. Next time, make some cute cushions for the chairs. Ouch.

Have any of you done a craft fair or the like? Any tips or wise lessons learned? I plan to repeat the experience.

the trail out of napland

2012-01-11T09:37:00.000-08:00

The upshot of having a child who no longer (or very rarely) naps is that we (obviously) have... more time. We have flexibility. Less scheduling. We simply don't watch the clock as closely during the middle of the day. It might be a first-child thing, but we've always been super disciplined when it comes to getting him down for a nap at the right time, in the right place. Good sleep is brain food, etc. Our family life has always been scheduled around, first, three daily naps, then two, then just one... then *poof*

Now, there's time for that extra play-doh session or a longer, meandering outing... or a mid-afternoon hike across the street.

Oh, there's the much earlier bedtime, too (fine with that part!). And getting to see a simply tuckered little guy ease out of the excitement of the day, and under the warm covers. He rubs his eyes, he gives a deep sigh, and he nods off to angelic sleep listening to A House is a House for Me. It's magical, that book--a hypnotic bath of warm milk. The perfect antidote to a busy boy's day.

a musical interlude

2012-01-05T12:02:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I attempted productivity, and Jacky and his sweet nanny headed out to one of his top spots: Stow Lake in GG Park. There are walking paths, paddle boats, ducks, friendly seniors and a rad pagoda. Sometimes there's even sun.

Jacky seems to be more and more into going there these days. It seems he's cultivating a bit of a posse at the boat shop... he has 'buddies' there now, who let him help around the shop, who don't mind if he wanders into the snack bar, who warm up his lunch (so nice!)... who apparently like being serenaded with the tunes of 1965, as performed by one born in 2008.

I give you Jacky's rendition of "The Birds and the Bees" (does this mean we're off the hook re: 'the talk'??) ...

the birds and the bees from blake kahan on Vimeo.

And the original:

Thanks Brittany for capturing the performance!

an opposite day

2012-01-04T10:00:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was different.

Last year, on the official first day back to work, I would've dragged myself down to BART, emerged from the underground like an animal coming out of hibernation, the cold air and bus fumes a shock to the system. I would have headed to the 13th floor of a particular building to begin scanning a blizzard of emails. There would be the catching up with co-workers: the lovely, the funny and all the others. Post-mortems of the year-end projects we all tried to sleep off. Eventually I'd start pushing some pixels and paths around the screen, and the work of a new year would begin.

Yesterday, I intended to work a bit. It's different work now, and I like it enough to miss it. It's still fresh and evolving. But, for the first time in a long while, a day scheduled for Being Very Productive just melted into sitting, talking, walking, looking, nibbling, sipping, eavesdropping, Instagramming and thinking. My hair got a little shorter and the color was put right. I unwisely sat in a tall chair at Sephora and things were definitely not right ('subtle' is just NOT possible in a store that sells makeup right? I might be learning.). I retreated to the safe cocoon of the Nordstroms Ladies Lounge (have you noticed, some women just go there to read?) and I wiped and edited. Considered reading for a bit. Left to buy clementines instead.

Some time passed, I looked at the time. Then I didn't look at the time for a long while. I had a free day downtown, alone. And it was very different.

new year wishes and intentions

2011-12-31T15:47:00.000-08:00

When I was young (or simply a little younger), the turn of a new year was major... it was a chance for transformation. It just took the right resolutions or dreaming up a new regimen. Remember the Seventeen magazine covers?--"new year, new you!!" Oh, the power of turning the calendar. And, it was exciting, right? When I was a kid, I'd always be up at midnight, even if that meant "napping" and then making my parents promise to wake me just before the ball dropped and our next-door neighbor fired his antique gun. Bang! New year, new you.

This year--little person willing--I'm sure I'll be fast asleep at midnight. Now, it's not so much about the clock striking midnight. Rather, a successful new year begins with little moments and actions leading up to the big moment. A clean home, laundry done, purse cleaned out of all the junk/receipts/little boy undies I have stashed in there. There'll be a nice meal: raclette has become our tradition. I like the idea of a clean start, emphasis on CLEAN. We'll take down the tree and clean out the fridge. On the first morning of 2012, we'll (hopefully) have a delicious and happy breakfast. We'll go outside in the crisp air. I might get an hour or two of solo garden-clearing time.

And then I'll turn to what's next. Not really resolutions, more like intentions? Hopes.

Here's what I have so far:

- Listen & focus when I'm with the little dude. Simple, right? And, not very original. But, oh, the last few months of 2011 were a doozy of over-scheduling for me. Classic year one of a new business. Way too often I was spending QT with Jacky and composing multi-threaded, crazy to-do lists in my head. And feeling guilty at the same moment, and then making more lists. Ugh.

- The garden goes (more) perennial. I'm getting a little more realistic with my garden-planning and a bigger chunk of the yard needs to be on auto-pilot. Out with quite so many from-seed, high-maintenance annual veggies, and in with artichokes (part deux), asparagus, raspberries, pretty flowers, etc. I was getting sad that I don't see a ton of gardening time in my future, but I'm really, really into this new plan.

- More blogging, and different blogging. Do you ever feel like a lot of blogging has turned into mostly advice, tips and recommendations? Actually, I love this in some people's blogs (and I've learned so much), but I'm guilty of believing that unless I have something to tell/teach/show, I don't have a blog post (unless I have a pic of baby buns or something!). Which is silly, and too much pressure. Some of my favorite blogs--like, the ones I absolutely check in on first, aside from those written by people I know or "know"--are more like a journal of thoughts and photos. The odd recipe thrown in, maybe a quiet link to a good idea here or there. It's more like what I want this space to be... more for posterity, more of a mood or moment, less like a magazine column. Am I making sense?? We'll see how I do.

- Better meal-planning. Pretty obvious! Lately, we've been down to pasta dishes A, B or C. Which are good, but still...

- A good read beside a crackling fire. Step one: get the chimney inspected (later, maybe get a gas insert); step two: try to get Toby to agree to one no-TV night per week. Just quiet reading time. It's heaven for me and I crave it.

- Quilting. A) finish Jacky's farm quilt; B) make a summer (I love a realistic deadline!) quilt from the L iberty of London mini rainbow fabric pack s I gifted myself. I am too good to me sometimes :)

- Be more old-fashioned. Ha. But, I mean: send thank-you notes and birthday cards and just-because cards. Stuff like that. A birthday text is so these days, but I want to take a step back. I want to do unto others....

So, that's where I'm pointing myself for the big, magical moment. I'll be tucked in, cozy and warm, and the new year, new me can quietly begin. I hope your 2012 starts with a smile, a kiss or a nice dream, friends.

2011 was a pretty good one for me, especially since it included meeting (or re-meeting) or simply visiting with, a few of you. I have high hopes for 2012 to continue in much the same way :)

xoxo

jack's axe

2011-12-11T20:13:00.000-08:00

a quick birthday recap, from the awesome handmade (by daddy) birthday gift department...

leftover baltic birch plywood + jigsaw + a bit of routing and sanding =

ROCK!!!

puffy doggy-head stickers are all the adornment needed.
did someone say guitar solo?!?

guest post... edible holidays!

2011-12-07T15:31:00.000-08:00

Peeps, my dear friend Nancy of The Goat and The Kid is doing an all-out Christmas extravaganza of guest posts this week, and today my post is up! It's about food, natch. Giving holiday food... my favorite type of gift.

Check it out !

the gift of breakfast!

yin & yang | onyx & orb

2011-12-06T09:46:00.000-08:00

Dark and light. Pain and pleasure.

It's been tough around here lately. Over the weekend, Toby's slightly sore back turned into a full-blown seize-up. The really bad kind: stuck on the floor, waves of spasms and pain. Fast-forward through an ambulance call, an ER visit and finally the right drugs. He's home and getting very slowly better. We're just trying to ride it out, but it's a tough to have my usually very able parenting partner out of commission. And in pain. That's been hard to watch.

So, today... the nanny is here, Jacky is off to the zoo, I can turn back to some making, and Toby can rest. We're stable and "normal" is making an appearance here and there.

And there's a nice distraction, a good way to start the day: Onyx & Orb, a Brooklyn-based online shop (and friends of my brother), has launched their Winter site, featuring some exclusives I created for them last month. It feels good to see work come to fruition. Things are moving forward.

december: what's in store

2011-12-01T09:18:00.000-08:00

Hello December! Woah. How did we get here so fast? Seems like I just quit my job the other day, though that was back in March. I threw my hat into the Etsy ring in September, and now... it's (gulp) time for my first official craft fair: Renegade Holiday!

I've done trade shows before (actually, just the exhibit design part, no selling) so I kind of know what to expect, but this is SO different... it's personal. It's nerve-wracking. It's SUPER exciting!

It would make my year if anyone reading this who lives in the Bay Area (or will be in SF for fun!) comes to see me and my little Willow Ship booth. Toby's been sawing and nailing for weeks in the garage, helping me build my "environment"... and I've been keeping myself splattered with paint, doing my part.

So, whee! Come visit me! Renegade is so fun and wouldn't you love to give awesome handmade gifts this year? I'll be booth #230. How official.

And, finally, I want some input. Is it OK for me to talk about "work stuff" on this blog? I don't want my blog friends to ever get the icky impression that I'm selling at them, as I started this blog way before I ever considered selling anything. I've been considering starting a separate site to just talk shop, but keeping two blogs is, frankly, a little daunting. But I would do it if necessary.

How about a little quiz? My first! Totally anonymous, though feel free to leave a comment too. (And does anyone know how to insert quizzes that look a little... nicer?)

Thanks!

Quizzes by Quibblo.com | SnapApp Quiz Apps

Big THREE!

2011-11-29T05:00:00.000-08:00

Today is my sweet, busy boy's 3rd birthday! We have A THREE in the house. He can't quite make his fingers show the number, but on the inside, he knows he's getting into Big Boy Land, and he loves it. And we love him. More than words or photos can ever say. He is ours and we are so completely his.

* * * * * * * *

On his last day being two, I snapped a few of this busy little maker, engaged in one of his top tasks: "zesting" play-doh. Never knew you could zest the stuff, but shows what I know. It's a very serious business!

thoughts and thanks

2011-11-23T12:44:00.000-08:00

I was going to write a long list of all the things that I'm feeling thankful for this Autumn, my favorite of seasons. You know, I do love a list. But there are so many particulars that just gathering my thoughts on the matter was overwhelming. My thanks, today at least, won't submit to lining up and standing still. How about a little ramble instead?

I'm thankful for the big stuff: my two best guys, my brothers and the rest of our scattered family, still-crisp memories of my parents, my in-laws and their family's open arms, plus dear friends: old, new, those I see, and those I read. You make me smile, think, laugh and weep. I'm thankful for a warm home that is ours, ours, ours. A space to garden that brings so much inspiration, but will wait for me patiently when I need to be elsewhere.

But there's also the little things: a boy who recites books to me at bedtime, a big mug of tea each morning from Toby, golden-pink sunrises, bread and butter, my mom's sewing machine, podcasts while I work, a husband that likes to cook together, a husband who toils in the woodshop/garage on my endless list of projects, a kitty who's chosen to be brave around a certain enthusiastic boy.

I'm thankful for health and an able body that can make, do and deliver. Not to mention the health of those I can't imagine living without.

I hope you all have a very warm and delicious Thanksgiving! We're heading south for the big dinner, followed by a muddy tromp in the woods for an enormous tree. My favorite part.

Until next week!
xoxo

a heart of blown glass

2011-11-21T22:10:00.000-08:00

Friends, you may remember an happily unfolding tale of adoption that I mentioned earlier? Alicia's thousands of readers have been following along, watching the happy preparations for a so, so intensely-wanted baby girl. It's been exhilarating to watch two people prepare to be parents, to actually become parents in the readying, the anticipating, the loving.

But, as Alicia says, things fell apart. Three words that sound mild, but are nothing but in meaning. I've been walking around today with a hole in my heart, now that I know how the story has changed, has ended. I've been thinking of Alicia and Andy all day and wanted to share their story... It's a sad one to be sure, but it's actually so full of love, and Alicia's writing just sears.

[edit: ooooops. late-night writing snafu: should probably include the link!]

Read Alicia's post here.

from 180 minutes to zero

2011-11-20T22:00:00.000-08:00

I might be totally mistaken, it might be just a phase, but we appear to be... sigh... done with naps.

dun dun dun.

And, I won't sugar coat it: moving onto (yet to be mastered) Quiet Time is a big change in our house. Not long ago, Jacky was the king, the dominator of solid 3-hour naps. Oh the to-do list warfare I used to wage during those hours of silence and not being needed. I think his nap length was pretty unusual for an almost-3, but my, how I came to count on it anyway. I would tuck that boy in, close the door, and tip-toe off to feats of cooking, cleaning, gardening (thank you long-range baby monitor), or maybe a thought-out bit of blogging.

All this whining aside, I'm starting to catch glimpses of a silvery lining. I'll start with the obvious.

Like, 1) he's growing up. Duh. It's awesome. There's a fascinating big boy emerging out of little-ness, and dropping the nap is all bout growing. I embrace it.

2) once the novelty of Big Boy Quiet Time (it's all about marketing) wears off, he might embrace the "quiet" part a bit and conk the heck out.

3) finally, more of a challenge, but so worth it, I imagine: I'm going to have to do some of the stuff I'd previously bang out during naps while he's up. Like, I'm kinda amazed but I managed to bust out the sewing machine and we sewed a new blanket for his bed, kinda together-like. He helped, he learned, no one lost it or got a finger zig-zagged. We cook small things together and he can keep a little busy while I tackle a small task.... But I hope where we're headed is that my role as a keeper of a home can emerge out of the shadows of nap time, and be a familiar sight for Jacky. I'd like him to see me making, doing more. I feel like that's a healthy example. And, frankly it's a good challenge for me.

< pause >

2011-11-02T09:05:00.000-07:00

Where I am right now (not on a beach)...

Tired. Slight overwhelm. Too many deep thoughts (none of them blog-ready). I need a breather, friends. You know when you just know you need a new mode, mindset, perspective? That's where I am. I'll be back soon.

xoxo

anatomy of a birthday, 38th edition

2011-10-28T15:40:00.000-07:00

5:00 am - Wakey wakey, courtesy of a toddler babbling loudly in next room (followed by a cozy bed attack). I tell myself, someday he'll bring me breakfast in bed, at a sane hour.

AM -

Tea and presents. A few sorely needed (ok, wanted) kitchen implements plus Ferran Adria's The Family Meal cookbook.

(WOW, I love this book: scrumptious food + stunning book design (check out the Amazon page views. My kind of stuff.). After seeing the No Reservations episode about the last days of El Bulli, my interest was seriously piqued. Like, before: eh, that place is probably amazing, but... really. Not on my radar. To now: wow, tell me more. Oh, and the book isn't about cooking as a family, it's about the (incredible) food they serve to the staff each night. Everyone should eat that well.)

Breakfast. Jacky requests a mid-meal reading of "A Birthday for Frances" but he really just wants us to sing the "Happy Chompo to me!" part. So we skip to that page, over and over.

Birthday Lowes run! Yeah, I never thought I'd type that either. Looking for materials for something very exciting coming up. Eeeeep!

Lunch - my once-a-year crab cake sandwich (not homemade). Oy, so GOOD, so RICH.

Texts, emails and cards to open. Including a super unexpected card from a wonderful lady I know only from her blog and emails. Seriously fun (thank you!).

PM -

A little work, but I don't mind, I actually like it. I think that says something. Compare it to last year, when I worked all day on stuff I don't remember and ate a cup of soup alone at my desk. I said to myself: next year, different.

Blogging: um, hello. You know it's a good birthday when you manage not to touch the computer until mid-afternoon. But then I might be the rare type of computer user who both likes to blog and read blogs, AND tries desperately to avoid the laptop.

Acupuncture. Yes.

Dinner chez nous (of course). Toby and I are trying our hand at Breton-style buckwheat crepes, like they used to serve at the dear, departed Ti Couz (bummed!). I might make some Green Goddess dressing for a salad. And, Toby has promised me some of THESE COOKIES. I cannot wait.

Finally, back to bed. Ahh.

pizza | BLT! (ish)

2011-10-23T21:47:00.000-07:00

First off, I just updated the master dough recipe. Again! Toby made a tweak recently out of necessity: we only had this much tipo '00' flour, so he grabbed some whole wheat pastry flour to make up the difference. The result? More please. A smidge of whole wheat makes me feel a little better about the rest of the snowy white flour, but if I'm honest, the real reason I dig it is the texture: a delicately crispy exterior with a very tender, airy interior. It's seriously getting there, people.

So, check it out. And make some pizza. Your people will love you for it.

OK, this week's pizza. Can I just say BLT? Uh huh. Well, pretty much. I didn't cook lettuce in the oven--I subbed basil instead, tucked under the cheese and julienned, sprinkled on top.

This is a pretty unapologetically Summery pizza, right in the middle of October. But then, it's our season right now for eating sweet Sungold tomatoes, basil... outside... with flip-flops and shorts... and limeade. You know, dinner tonight.

hello, Fall light

+++++++++++++++++++++

BLT-ish Pizza!

basic pizza recipe + tomato sauce + basil leaves to cover (i.e., lots)

+ shredded mozzarella

+ halved sungold (or other small sweet) tomatoes

+ cooked bacon, chopped roughly

---

drizzle with olive oil, especially exposed dough. sprinkle with salt.

bake per recipe.

garnish with grated parmesan, julienned basil.

slice and devour.

++++++++++++++++++++++

And... because it think all his pizzas are adorable (he decorates them himself... the dump method), I give you Jacky's creation from tonight. Not a "plain cheese" man, his feature lots of ingredients. No matter how many I prep for him... there's always room for "one more?"

ps -- 300th post! What?

the power of making

2011-10-19T11:05:00.000-07:00

A little mid-week inspiration... (and, gosh I miss London.)

Power of Making from Victoria and Albert Museum on Vimeo.

via UPPERCASE

monday, monday

2011-10-18T09:51:00.000-07:00

Some Mondays--our "Jacky & Mama play day," to fill as we wish--have a definite set of plans. We get out of the house early, lunch packed and a destination in mind. Some Mondays don't: we putter about in the garden and are surprised by lunch cravings.

Yesterday, we started out with a plan. Jacky loves Muir Woods... a long drive through the city, over the beautiful GG bridge, through the twisty Marin roads to The Big Trees. But, this time, is was not to be. Too late of a start... too many people... no place to park. Not a good day to visit the touristy (at times) woods.

So we pressed on. A pretty, meandering drive ended at a gorgeous beach. Muir Woods gave way to Muir Beach. And, so be it. We didn't have swimsuits, beach blankets or sand toys. But, we had a lunch, a towel found in the car... and lots of time for cuddles and beach-gazing. Little dude had a big weekend with his cousins and some time to be still and quiet was in order. For both of us.

stuff I like

2011-10-12T22:10:00.000-07:00

So I got a text from Nancy today... all appears to be well and the healing can begin. YES. Since she's probably now nested deep into the couch, watching Dance Moms or something equally therapeutic, let's leave these life and death issues for a moment.

I wanna tell you 'bout some STUFF. Stuff I like. Stuff on Etsy. Of course.

Know what the problem with selling on Etsy is? The ol' Paypal balance builds up a little (my family and I are OK with that part) but it's just OH SO easy to justify a "for moi" purchase now and then from said balance. (It's rare, trust me!) Click click. Me want. It's like when you work in an office and someone's constantly coming by with chocolate bars for sale. But, not crappy fundraiser chocolate (sorry)... really insane, crazy good chocolate. With artisanal, magical sea salt on top. Or something like that.

Here's a (very) short list of my current workplace temptations.

Theater Clouds by Elly MacKay.
Beautiful, dreamy, haunting images. Elly builds this magic out of illustrated paper and then photographs these scenes in her miniature "theater." You know when you see someone's work and you're like... Oh man. That looks so amazing and FUN to do. Wish I made that. Ya know? This is that for me, eventhough it's so different from what I know how to make. I don't normally pine for a day in someone's studio just to see how they do what they do, but I wish I could see Elly's magic in the making.

Minature Houses by The Haunted Hollow Tree.
Growing up, our house wasn't religious. Actually, our house was a bit of a mix: Jewish father and Lutheran mother... but they weren't observant, to be honest. Probably one generation removed from observance, in both cases. Religion was introduced to me as a "if you're interested, here's what some people believe... see what you think" type of thing. Casual. But! Putting out the Nativity Scene at Christmas was a cherished ritual of mine. Maybe it was the miniature scale, the ritual of carefully unwrapping it and the fussy arranging it demanded, whatever. I liked it. At this stage in my life, I'm gravitating more toward arranging these sweet, restrained dwellings in a winter village. Can't you see it?

2012 12-Month Calendar by Leah Duncan
OK, I already own this one. Gotta say, I just love Leah's work. I totally relate to her abstract/geometric work (like this calendar), but am in awe of her more figurative work: mystical llamas and bisons? Cool.

And finally... cashmere undies (by sartoria)! Oh yes I did.
Need I expound upon these little bits of genius? No, I think not. They speak for themselves. Yes, please.

the amazing lady vs the dangerous gene

2011-10-11T10:47:00.000-07:00

My dear friend Nancy. Nanny. The Goat.

Sigh. Where to begin? She's more than a friend, she's like a bright, shining light to me, her family and so many others. We met more than half our lives ago, on the steps of our college dorm, on check-in day (backstory), and we've been bonded so deeply every since. I love that lady.

Today she's recovering from having, as she puts it, her "junk" removed. She's funny like that. And she's brave: today, she intentionally entered menopause at the age of 38.

Why? Read this. And this. Cancer has terrorized both of our families too often. My feeling is: whatever it takes to stay healthy and around. Whatever it takes. Wouldn't everyone want a chance like this?

It's been emotional for her to close the door on the childbearing years--and everything that means to women, mothers or not--but she's taking that beast to the mat today.

Go, Nanny, go. Put on those sweats, climb onto the couch and watch something super trashy.

a lemon-y reminder for you and me

2011-10-05T09:58:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it, but... it's time. Time to carefully cut the peel off pounds and pounds of lemons and make embarrassingly large booze purchases. Yes, it's time to start your holiday limoncello batches. Yes, indeed.

Here's the deets, from last year's reminder post.

We're stopping by the in-laws this weekend for a few hours, so I plan on raiding their Meyer lemon tree. That is, if the neighborhood kids haven't beat me to it. Pretty sure they're not making holiday hooch, so stand aside children. Your parents will thank me.

Oh, also. If you join me in the limoncello venture this year, let me update you: last year, we went with mostly Everclear in our batch, which is just so much better. It makes a final product with absolutely no risk of freezing (limoncello should be stored in the freezer--the first year we made it, we used only vodka and it went slushy.). EC stays icy cold and totally pourable.

Yes, I know Everclear has a very tacky reputation, but just remember: the recipe calls for a good quantity of simple syrup, which cuts the alcohol content to a non-lethal level. And, you'll give the employees at BevMo something to ponder. Dayyaaaamm, that Mom likes to party. ;)

balance and the beach

2011-10-04T10:57:00.000-07:00

Um. Hi. Hello.

Normally, I'm not a believer in apologizing for a lack of posts. You know, it is what it is... and (I think) it's (to me) frankly a (slightly) boring read. (Yep, that was the most parenthetical sentence. Gosh, I hate offending.)

Oh, but sometimes... sometimes it just feels correct to acknowledge that things sometimes get a little crazy. A little off kilter. Even though it's technically "for fun," blogging sometimes gets included in my long list of commitments/have-to-do's/things left undone that I think about when trying to sleep. Sometimes it's a long, tiring list.

Well, suffice it to say, things have been a little nutty around here lately. Some of it, in a very good way. But, that very nice development has created other INTEREST, which leads to opportunities. Which leads this lady to too many Yes's sometimes. My goodness, I'm still learning how to say No.

Because, truth be told... my journey away from a desk job and that structure/lack of control is an exercise in saying No. I'm trying to say Yes to a different rhythm to life and working. One that places the peace of my household at the front of the line. Because, let me tell you: when Mama is stressed, everything really sucks for everyone.

So, I've been stressed and stretched. Kicking myself for letting my new work sitch so quickly catch up and resemble my old work sitch. Ugh.

But, hello. Here I am. I'm sitting here, catching up with my "want to do's," which include thinking and writing right now, and in a few minutes, tackling some reasonable tasks... because I'm practicing using the word No.

Oh, it's a process.

Because, when I say No, I can say Yes to balance, time and peaceful days.

Like this beautiful, misty day I've been meaning to show you for too long and almost shelved. You saw a sneak peak last time I clicked "publish"... and here's some more from our favorite spot down the coast. Must reserve time for more of this.

a few favorites, right now

2011-09-25T21:46:00.000-07:00

:: A Friday morning drive to our favorite coastal spot. Maybe we always go on the cold days, but having a whole beautiful, dramatic, pebble-y beach to ourselves can't be beat.

:: A story of an unfolding (hopefully) adoption process that makes me tear up every time Alicia posts about it. Maybe it's her breathtaking pictures from a very important train trip, too.

:: Collecting crafty tutorials on Pinterest. I think this might be my favorite use of my favorite webaddiction.

:: Fall ankle booties. Especially shoes that 1) I really like (and look good with skinny fall pants); and 2) find their way into my basket while shopping for little boy underwear at Target. True, they're not Missoni, but I love um. Very comfy too.

:: Miso, this way: Gwynneth Paltrow's salad dressing from her cookbook. I think I mentioned it before, but it's like crack on lettuce. Or anything else you can dip in it.

:: Miso, that way: A crazy, nutty sandwich from Feeding the Whole Family, by Cynthia Lair. --> Layer a sandwich like this: bread | thin layer of white miso | thinly sliced apple | white cheddar cheese | another apple layer | more miso | bread. I thought it was a joke the first time I read it, but then I couldn't stop wondering about it... and it really works! So good! Jacky loves it too, did I mention? It's a pretty kid friendly sammy.

:: Knitting. As in, why don't I know how to do it?! I mean, when I could be making this owl that made me shriek at my screen? Come on. Someone teach me.

:: Kristina's salad. Kale, hazelnuts, tomatoes, yogurt dressing... oh my. Anyone made it yet? I must, I must, this week.

:: Homemade bread + homemade cultured butter. All I need sometimes.

:: A husband who spends his weekends covered in sawdust, in the garage with power tools, all in the name of making me a big-ass rustic table for the backyard. (I think he might be having fun, though.)

:: A simple morning: jammies till noon, play-doh, Elizabeth Mitchell.

on cloud nine at D*S!

2011-09-22T10:03:00.000-07:00

OK, so very soon, I'll be taking all this shop talk to another venue... but! Today I'm just too excited. Bear with me... and check it out on Design*Sponge (eeeeep!):

I'm fairly freaking out and so appreciative (again) for your encouragement, friends. xoxo

the big boy bed

2011-09-20T21:19:00.000-07:00

...is here. And we have a very, very proud little guy in the house. He has, in his opinion, arrived. Big time in the big boy bed!

And isn't the bed the cutest. It's a convertible number from Casa Kids (that sadly isn't made anymore--boo!) that goes from crib to toddler bed (above) to twin bed. Pretty sweet. I'm kinda in love too.

And, sigh. How did we get here so fast?! Just a moment ago, a little baby was just getting to know that crib. Sniffff. You know I was tearing up while snapping photos. Given.

family music jam

2011-09-13T21:40:00.000-07:00

I was feeling a little camera shy. Pardon the lap shot!

Sometimes, in that special time between the toddler dinner and bath/bedtime (you know, right?), the thing that's really called for lately in our house is... drumroll... Family Music Jam.

Rockin.

Because, really. After a long day of sitting in meetings (Dada), sewing/printing/breadmaking/laundry (Mama), and learning/growing/being (guess who), there's really nothing better than wailing on some instruments and singing... EXTREMELY LOUDLY!!

And, by instruments, I mean... yes, instruments. Xylophones, drums, recorders. But also: "banjos" (half of a Swiffer mop or random spatulas) or maybe a backup "drum" (random bouncy ball wailed on with a tambourine).

Number one song in rotation lately: Yellow Submarine. ("we aw wiv in da wewow sub-maween!") I'm sure the neighbors are loving it. Single family dwelling in the house.

Yep, we're loving music time. Jacky is the leader of the band, asking unruly members to play their instruments "nicely please." He's started singing along with us, which is hilarious and adorable. We definitely sound like a bunch of crazy jackals, but it's the perfect wind-down to our days.

Any special way you bring the day in for a sane landing?

pizza | baby flowering zucchini, goat cheese & herbs

2011-09-11T21:15:00.000-07:00

Friends, I've been on cloud nine since last week's new beginning... Yes, being in the craft business I've dreamed of for a long time is fun, amazing, and thrilling. But I've been pysched because of you: your heartfelt, encouraging comments. But also: the FB'ing, the Pinterest pins, the blog post (wow, Sara!), Tumblr, the word of mouth... the... gulp, orders! Wowzers. I don't intend to flood this space with shop talk (I'll take that elsewhere, soon), but I just had to say THANKS. Wow.

Amid all this excitement, nourishment and life goes on. We've been enjoying a beautiful September in San Francisco... dare I say, a pretty reliable time of year. The garden is loving the sun, I have an enthusiastic helper, and the summer squashes are having none of the "it feels like Fall!!" talk I've been spying here and there ;)

Zucchini in the hay-yowse. I have my eye on many recipes, including this, this and this (but I need more! And, how can I get my husband to eat zucchini? He really needs to pitch in with the slightly frightening bounty.).

But, right now, today: pizza, anyone?

I keep wanting to make a recipe from the Jamie at Home cookbook: baby zucchini with flowers, stuffed with herby, chili-spiked goat cheese, then battered and fried. Pretty straightforward squash-blossom fare, yes, but I can't get it out of my mind.

Tonight, I was going to kind of replicate that, minus the batter/fry, and plop my stuffed flowers on a pizza. Twas gonna be awesome... but, Sunday is our Family Meal night, and fiddling around with stuffed cucurbit flowers, at a certain point, was obviously not going to happen. Duh. So, I just plopped it all on the pizza. And it was just grand. Mostly, I just like how the flowers look in food: always pretty. Always Summery.

+++++++++++++++++++++

Pizza with Baby Flowering Zucchini, Goat Cheese & Herbs

basic pizza recipe + tomato sauce + shredded mozzarella

+ 3-4 baby zucchini w/flowers attached

(slice in half & remove stamen from inside flowers)

+ a few blobs of goat cheese

+ red pepper flakes, thyme, oregano

---

drizzle with olive oil, especially exposed dough. sprinkle with salt.

bake per recipe.

garnish with grated parmesan, chopped basil & mint.

slice and devour.

++++++++++++++++++++++

it's go time

2011-09-08T12:35:00.000-07:00

My other baby is launched. Woot!

Phew, that was a lot of work, what with the making, photographing, writing, jazzing up, Etsy-figuring-out, whathaveyou.

Thanks again dear friends, for your sweet encouragement from the beginning, through the middle, and to now.

I'm starving, gonna go make a big lunch and sit in the sun.

++++++++++++

PS - I'm offering free domestic ground shipping all month to celebrate the launch!

good ol' san diego

2011-09-01T10:28:00.000-07:00

Have you ever vacationed in your home town? Me neither, until last week. After last Summer's endless fog, I decided that this year, we would go find Summer where it lives. Rent a house near the water. Soak it in. Warm up our insides. Get a little too hot maybe (I'm a bit of a heat-wuss now!). Check the box, you know.

This Week of Summer also coincided with my 20th reunion. So, there was that. (Check.)

Here's what else happened. (Unreasonably long post alert!)

We stayed on Coronado, which is perfect because it's quiet, safe, sunny and close to stuff like Balboa Park (one of my favorite places anywhere). Plus there's the cute contrast of meandering through a small town, right across the bay from the tall buildings of downtown. And, I mean right across. It's a small bay, so each night we could hear the train whistles from the downtown depot.

We stayed with my dear friend Nancy (also mentioned here) on the drive down. What a treat. We got to hang with her entire extended, crazy, fun family (lots of kids!) and Jacky got to pal-around with her two sweet, gentle daughters, who he adores and talks about all the time. Check out the keyboard trio below.

Splitting up the drive was KEY, especially after the heinous 405 traffic. Double key, especially since the following night was the reunion. Spending all day on I-5 is not a recommended way to prep for fancy dress-up night.

(Edit: You know what's awesome on I-5 though? Riding along (passenger!), reading all your generous, encouraging comments on my new endeavor! Wow, that was the best. You guys.)

But, speaking of the reunion. It was way better than the 10th, in my book. People were more relaxed, grown up (natch), and it was simply a better turn-out. And, like I said, I'm not really a high school reminiscer. Bonus was the fact that we prepped with delicious cocktails at the lovely Miss Jora's stunning house beforehand and went together to the big soirée. Of course, we got to finally meet Jora's amazing B :)

The reunion was, of course, Instagram'd. Addicts.

The night of the reunion, we stayed with my brother, who now owns the house we three kids grew up in. My Dad's hunting trophies still hang in the living room (for now), and the piano I learned to play on still graces the dining room. Taking Jacky to that house was meaningful (though he just kind of grasped it), but I think the highlight was playing a "duet" on the piano with him. Granted, I only remember how to play the first couple bars of Für Elise and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star (sad) but it was a lovely duet!

When we settled into the Coronado house and the proper vacay part of the trip, we did some plain ol' chillin' and some touristy stuff, like driving a surrey around the waterfront. Which was actually really, really fun.

One of my reasons for wanting to go to SD for vacay is that my home town has been such a mystery to me. I left when I was 17, with trips back almost always spent in the suburb I grew up in, not really getting to know the "good parts." Add to that all the family history of loss, and I'd been keeping my distance for a long while. Taking Jacky to SD and rediscovering the town somewhat through his eyes was really healing and just plain fun. It's a stunningly pretty town, and the smells and sounds of it are still like home to me. I'm not moving back, but I, you know, like it again.

In addition to seeing old friends and some far-flung family, the trip was also an excuse to do a little blogger meet-up. We hung with Jora, who I obviously already knew from HS, but have come to somewhat re-know due to the magic of sharing on the Interwebs. Meeting her cute and precocious kids in person was such a treat. They gave Jacky one of the best afternoons in a while, frolicking in that gorgeous pool. The adults sipped cold-brewed iced coffee and sighed at the beautiful view. Amazing.

One of those adults was also the sweet, funny and creative Desi. After the fantastic Kim and her darling kids visited us earlier this year, I decided to be as brave and try to convert other interesting "friendternets" into actual friends. It's a devious plan. Desi, it was so great to finally meet you! And, let me tell you, she can cook. I'm still dreaming of the killer BBQ beans she lugged over to the beach house.

Of course, we hit the zoo! I may have teared up a little upon entering, as I probably spent half my childhood there, especially with my Mom. And it's better than ever, even if you just freak out about all the beautiful and rare plants (like me). So spoiled, you SD people.

On the last night, my brother Sam took us out on the bay in his handsome boat. It was a scorching day, and the coolness of the water was perfect. I took a silly amount of bridge photos and we motored right up next to one of my favorite Girl Scout outings, the Star of India.

Then we packed it all in our little city car and headed back up through the inferno of I-5. Of course, I managed to keep somewhat busy. Jacky was a patient trooper in the car, even when we got jammed up on the Bay Bridge, just in sight of home. Argh, that bridge.

Oh, and along the way: don't you love rest stops? Really, I do. We used to always stop and run around at them on the marathon SD-Montana drives. What's even better is it seems all the rest stops on I-5 have been re-done. Modern, breezy shade buildings and quite lovely landscaping. We had a nice picnic in the shade (on our amazing, indispensable blanket from here) and a quick rest. It's only civilized ;)

And, then, finally... with the Summer soaked into our bones... we were home. And the fog was a very welcome sight. Home, home, home.

That really is the point of travel, huh?

vacation: check!

2011-08-28T22:21:00.000-07:00

We're back! Phew. We had a wonderfully fun, Summery time in San Diego... we visited great friends, road on a boat, drove a surrey, ate more tacos than you want to know about, experienced the marvels of I-5... etc. I have a proper vacay post brewing, with lots of photos. But, to tide you over... let us speak more of photos.

My new antsy-passenger activity for road-trips: iPhone photography with the nifty Camera+ app. Miss Jora found out about it from the lovely and talented Kim, and clued myself and Desi right in. Was I bored on I-5? A little, but then I just started snapping. I tell you: Camera+ makes random clouds and desolate landscapes look verrry sexy.

Back soon!

ww

2011-08-24T05:00:00.000-07:00

oh, products

2011-08-22T05:00:00.000-07:00

Isn't that a funny term? And, you know exactly what I mean, right? There are products like car tires and spatulas... and then there are products. Like the kind I will special-trip it over to Sephora for or order specially online. The stuff I won't go on vacation without.

I used to be super nutty for all this stuff (right, Nance?) then I cooled it a bit. There is such a thing as too obsessed. Now, I think I've found a somewhat principled middle-ground. I stick with what works and try to avoid junky/harmful ingredients. I also just wear less make-up than I used to.

Since I do love these posts from all of you, I'll go. Here's a short list of what I'm into right now.

++++++++++++++++

Best serious moisturizer | Rose Cream by Martina Gebhardt. And, by "serious" you know what I mean. This is definitely a post-30 moisturizer. It smells pretty, is luxuriously thick, works like crazy and is super safe. I've been using it for years, mostly at night.

Best exfoliation | Glycolic Acid 10% Hydrating Gel by Peter Thomas Roth. It has one or two "bad" ingredients, so I feel a little conflicted, but damn this stuff really works. It's like an overnight freshening-up peel. Don't make me give it up.

Best daytime combo | Argan Oil Daily Moisturizer with SPF 40+ and Argan Matchmaker Serum Foundation from Josie Maran. I tried the straight-up argan oil a while back and was a little underwhelmed. But, after the lovely Sara mentioned the foundation, I've been all about these other Josie Maran products. They all have that argan oil in them, which is currently popular, awesome, naturally beautifying, etc.--and they work great. All I know is that if I mix the SPF 40 with the "matchmaker" foundation (I'm not really a foundation person either, but this stuff is very clever), I have an excellent replacement for the tinted moisturizer I had to stop using b/c of all those parabens.

Best face wash | Skin Brightening Facial Cleanser by 100% Pure. Another post-30 item! And it came from our natural foods co-op (aka the grocery story). Score. This stuff is all-natural and it really, really works. Leaves the skin super clean and bright.

Best shampoo/conditioner | Organic Lemongrass line by Label M. This stuff is hard to find unless your salon carries it. If you see it, grab some. Though it's incredibly expensive, I've rationalized it by going French and not washing my hair too often. Ha. Seriously though, this is a line I can support: no sulfates, parabens, etc. And, aside from all that, it's really the very best shampoo/conditioner I've ever used. Eva.

+++++++++++++++

Anything you're particularly into these days? I might have to have it.

reunion jams

2011-08-20T08:00:00.000-07:00

So, tonight is my 20th high school reunion in San Diego. We're going. Have you gone to any of your reunions? Oh, I'm so ambivalent about them. I kind of don't care--this is going to sound pretty jerky but college was way more me than high school--but then I get nervous before these things (why, I don't know).

We went to my 10th and it was kinda meh. And that was before people were saying meh. I naively thought it would be like the day after graduation. Not as if people hadn't changed--because everyone had, in wildly different ways--but that the whole graduating class would be there. It was a kind of random turn-out, which was unexpected. I think lots of other people were nervous, too.

I decided I'd probably give it one more go, with the 20th.

Now, however, there is the Facebook. I already know who's going. I know how many kids they have and what they had for lunch yesterday. Mystery, what mystery. But, the turn-out looks better this time. And, I get to hang out with this lovely lady. Nice.

So, even though I'm more of a college-nostagia person, certain songs take me back to high school. Driving home from the beach listening to 91X, thinking about life, the future, and maybe certain boys. Just driving around a lot mainly. Ah, southern California.

Here we come.

the what

2011-08-19T05:00:00.000-07:00

I'm a bit of a shy person. I know, I know, aren't all blog-minders supposed to be the extroverted, over-sharing, Dooce type? Some, perhaps. And aren't there plenty. Me, I'm pretty much your textbook introvert who has learned to "extro" herself when it counts. I can mix it up with (almost) the best of them, but then I need my retreat of quiet and contemplation. Sometimes I know this comes off as aloof or non-share-y... but eventually I come around.

Like this new work stuff. I've been asked by everyone from my acupuncturist to my mother-in-law, "Blake it's great you're super happy in your new work sitch or whatever it is... but, so... what is it?" Yep, I might keep things pretty tight against my chest. Until the right time.

So, I think we're just about there. But, true to form, I'm lobbing this little preview over the fence right as I step out the door for a little vacay. (There will be posts while I'm relaxificating, so do stop back!)

Here's a tiny taste of what I've been sketching, cutting, designing, printing, sewing and making. So far, it's a line of earthy, 60s/70s-ish 100% linen homewares that I hand-blockprint and sew. They'll be listed on etsy very shortly. And there are many other plans, too. Aren't there always?

So, now you know ;)

thai chile, mango and peach hot sauce

2011-08-18T11:39:00.000-07:00

Snifffffff. My nose is a little runny this morning.

Nope, it's not a cold or hot sauce overindulgence (which is always plausible with me). I just sat down to finish up this recipe post, and ended up reading Melanie's INCREDIBLE birth story instead (via Kristina). Isn't that always the way? Darn you internet. I feel like every time I check in with my favorite ladies (and the occasional dude) out there in blogland, I end up with a very wet face. Sighhhhhhh. I love it. Birth stories are addictive and, don't know about you, but I never read or heard too many prior to the era of the blog. A happy evolution, I think.

Anyway, gear change. I'm in a seriously different mindset finishing this post as I was starting it. But, let's get it out there. This is some good spicy, fruity business here. And, since I know you'll ask... ("how spicy is it?")... that's a super relative question, of course. For a spice-lover, this is satisfyingly hot, but it isn't the craziest stuff. The sweet fruit balances out the fiery chiles. Hot but not painful. On the other hand, if you don't like spice, this one isn't for you. But you should still make some and give it away at the holidays!

This recipe calls for making a pot of hot sauce and then water-bath canning it. If you haven't canned stuff before, try it now! I've given the basics below, but if you want to read more, check out what the Ball people say (there are some useful PDFs), or consult a trustworthy book. Really, I used to be scared of canning, but it's pretty easy. You just need to be organized and confident (the first time is the most nerve-wracking). Of course, you could always just store the sauce in the fridge in lieu of canning, but I'm not sure you could go through it quickly enough. Yes, that might be a challenge. ;)

Oh, and this is totally the time to make this stuff. Actually, this is the YEAR to make this stuff. What with the crazy heat-pocalypses out there and everything. At least that's what this fog-ensconced person hears. Hot peppers are ready for the taking. I scored all these chiles for $1 a bunch at our farmers market.

Let me know if you try! This is delicious, pretty stuff, great on tacos, crackers and goat cheese, a dip for grilled cheese sandwiches, atop grilled fish, etc etc.

+++++++++++++++++++

Thai Chile, Mango and Peach Hot Sauce
Adapted from--yep--Canning for a New Generation

makes about 5 half-pint jars. (It doubles well; I made a huge batch.)

4 oz red or orange thai chiles (or other fresh very hot peppers, like habaneros)*
1 lb, 6 oz mangoes, chopped (about 3 cups)
6 oz peaches, diced (about 1 cup)
1 cup fresh lime juice
1/2 c cider vinegar (5% acidity)
4 t pure kosher salt
1 T honey

*Don't be tempted to increase the ratio of peppers to acid ingredients. You need the right acidity to prevent spoilage.

You'll need: 5 half-pint canning jars with new lids and a canning pot (or pasta pot) large enough to hold your jars plus water to cover by at least 1". As for tools: a ladle, either a jar-lifter (or long tongs with rubber bands wrapped around the tip), plus a canning funnel for neat jar-filling. Also, this is a puréed hot sauce, so you'll need a blender.

Prepare for canning: wash your jars and all tools and heat them up to a boil, then keep them in simmering water (should cover jars by at least 1") while you prepare the recipe. Place the flat lids in a heat-proof dish. Set rings aside.

Make the sauce: Stem the chiles, then slice in half and remove seeds if you want (I didn't do either), and place them in a wide, stainless steel pan with all other ingredients. Bring to a simmer and cook, stirring frequently, for about 10 minutes, until the chiles are softened. Remove the center stopper from your blender lid and have a kitchen towel on hand to cover the opening. Working in batches (important: only fill the blender half-full each time), puree the sauce in a blender (with open-top lid and kitchen towel on top--be careful, this is hot stuff) until very smooth. When the entire recipe has been blended, return the sauce to the pan and bring back to a simmer. Beware of sticky, sputtering sauce--it's kind of like very spicy lava at this stage. A lid perched on top of the pan helps.

Canning: Ladle hot water from the canning pot into the bowl with the lids. This softens the sealing compound on the underside of the lids. Remove the hot jars from the canning pot, carefully pouring the hot water back into the pot. Place the hot jars upright on a kitchen towel and drain the water off the lids.

Remove the sauce from the heat and ladle it through your canning funnel into the hot jars, leaving 1/4" headspace at the top. Wipe the rims with a damp paper towel (any sauce there will compromise the seal), place a lid on top, and gently screw on a ring until it's just finger tight. Air needs to escape during the water bath processing, so don't tighten any further at this stage.

Return the jars to the canning pot, ensuring that the water covers the jars by 1". Bring to a boil and, once boiling, maintain this state for 10 full minutes. Afterward, turn off the heat and carefully remove hot jars to a kitchen towel and leave undisturbed for 12 hours. After 1 hour, check that the lids have sealed (you shouldn't be able to press them down). If any haven't, refrigerate them immediately. For successfully processed jars, either re-tighten the rings or remove them completely (not necessary for storage). Then label your jars for keeping and gift-giving!

++++++++++++++++

And, just a few more canning safety notes: during storage, if you ever notice a bulging lid (or one that's not firmly "sucked down" onto the jar, a funky color or any fuzz/yucky bits when you open the jar, don't ever taste the contents (yeck and very dangerous). Dispose them in a sealed bag, in a place that no person or animal could possibly consume it. Read more here.

But, don't be scared! It's easy to learn the right way, and super addictive. Like hot sauce. And birth stories.

toddlerville: where we are

2011-08-16T10:42:00.000-07:00

When Jacky gets older, will he read this blog? Chances are, with the indelible nature of anything released into the interwebs, the answer is Oh Yes. Sometimes I think about that. I try not to publish too many embarrassing photos or descriptions, as I just *know* kids are being taunted at school this very moment for parental oversharing.

Anyway, part of the reason I keep writing this blog is that it's simply a record. Where we're at. I cherish my simpler, less self-aware 1970s upbringing, but part of me wishes my parents had created this type of artifact. It's so easy to forget... but, like an elephant, the internet never forgets.

Here's a little sampling from Jacky's land.

:: hello terrible two's? ::

First, I don't love this term. Yep, the screaming and frantic yes/no/yes/no business is quite terrible to be on the receiving end of... but, really. There must be a better term for this stage which I feel is, at its heart, all about a transition. Because, like the teen years, isn't toddlering a stage of intense change and in-between-ness? Not that the rest of life isn't. Well, it hit us FULL FORCE last week. Yep, last week. Jacky has been two for a long while, and while he has been going through the usual amount of stubbornness and boundary-testing, last week was a completely different animal. A startling wave of frantic crying, longer tantrums, really tough transitions between activities, just weariness for everyone. It was pretty sad to see him so agitated but wanting help. Picture screaming in protest, but burying himself in me for comfort. Push, pull.

Toby and I said, Oh. So, this is the two's. Crap. Here's my take though: he's not trying to make everything crazy. He wants to be happy and is most happy when he's feeling helpful and harmonious. He's obviously going through an intense wave of change and needs calm & constancy. (Can I recommend this wonderful book again??) We've been trying little tactics we know work for him (happy wake-up routines, zero sugar (some had crept in), more relaxed schedules, "previewing" upcoming activities and events, lots of naked time!). It seems to be working for Jacky, and this week is going much better. Fingers crossed.

:: family dinner ::

So important, I think, and someday we'll be up to seven nights a week. Right now, we're doing this once a week, which is about right for us, right now. I think the other important thing to protect in family life is parents getting a chance to talk, have a glass of wine, cook together, put down the Goodnight Moon and focus on each other. That's the routine Monday through Saturday.

But on Sundays, lately: family pizza night! First we tried getting Jacky involved in the pizza making.... which can probably wait a little longer. Basically, he had a tough time relinquishing his "creation" so it could be cooked. You know what I mean. Tears topped the pizza. We'll try that again later. Right now, we're just working on the sitting and peacefully eating part.

:: his baby ::

This boy loves to nurture, hoo boy. Sometimes it's his softy-frog tucked up in his shirt like he's wearing a baby carrier (awwwww), sometimes he's the one getting "big boy swaddled" again. But this boy is nutty for babies... when we're out and he sees one, he gets all squirrelly, silly and shy, all at once. It's hilarious. And, this morning, he was mumbling something about a little sister. Gulp. I said, "Um, do you want a little brother or sister, Jacky?" He said, "Yeah, think a sister. Because they really like hugs." !!!!!!!

:: straddling potty land ::

The potty work continues. We're in that in-between land of only sleeping with diapers, and diaper-free all day. So, it's cool! Getting there.

:: imaginary, actual friends ::

Overheard recently: [pretend phone to ear] "Hello, Woo-Seal? Think you and Timmy can come over to my house today. OK?"

Me: "Did you just call some friends?"

J: "Yeah. Woo-Seal is going to come over. But Timmy said no he's busy."

Man, celebrities.

:: actually, sometimes... not always ::

Current favorite words. Don't you love those kids that use "actually" in long explanatory sentences?... so cute and slightly nerdly. Love, love, love.

And, say you ask J a question like this: "Hey, Jacky. Do you like to shovel sand at the beach?" J: "Um, yeah. Sometimes... not always." I die.

Well, that's where we are. Where you at?

multigrain pancakes, smitten-paltrow mash-up style

2011-08-09T22:12:00.000-07:00

I used to not be a pancakes person. Sweet, bready stuff for breakfast? Ugh, no thanks. Make mine salty bacon and starchy hash browns, plus hot sauce. Full stop.

But then, what happened? Who knows. Maybe Toby suggested pancakes. Maybe we stopped going out for brunch (see: Offspring). But, somehow, Saturdays became Pancake Day. And this designation became cemented when a little guy grew up a little and dropped his morning nap. He joined us at the table for Saturday breaky and Pancakes became an Event. Like, I tuck him in on Friday night and we say "see you for Pancake Day in the morning!"

We used to make whole grain pancakes from a store-bought mix, with blueberries dropped in. Good enough. Then I tried using my bread starter for some overnight-rested sourdough pancakes (based on a Joy of Cooking recipe). Pretty OK. But my eye kept roving.

Over the last couple of Saturdays I've tried Smitten Kitchen's hearty lemon/vanilla-infused pancakes, which were thick and more like griddle cakes. Deb's pancakes were delicious and oh-so fragrant, if... ooof, so filling. Then I made, like many of you(!), GOOP's Dad's "world-famous" pancakes, which are buttermilk tangy and benefit from an overnight rest (makes the batter tender). Delicious, but all AP flour? And, I think the baking powder does more if it's added the day you cook them. Oh, and half the recipe was more than enough.

Enter my mash-up of the two, which we gobbled up last Saturday. (And will this coming Saturday.) Not bad at all: tangy, lemon/vanilla-y, multi-grainy, blueberry-y, thin and delicate.

I thought they were pretty solid. Maybe you'll like them too?

+++++++++++++++++++++++++

Multigrain Blueberry Pancakes, Smitten-Paltrow Mash-up Style

yield: ~18 5-inch pancakes
based on Smitten Kitchen's Blueberry Yogurt Multigrain Pancakes & "Bruce Paltrow's World-Famous Pancakes" from My Father's Daughter by Gwyneth Paltrow

.5 c all-purpose flour
.5 c whole grain pastry flour
.5 c dark rye flour
1/8 c + 1 T raw sugar
1 t fine salt
1.75 t baking powder
1.5 c yogurt (I used regular, not Greek. If you have Greek yogurt, use more milk to thin the morning you cook the pancakes.)
3 T unsalted butter, melted and cooled*, plus more for cooking
3 large organic eggs
1 t vanilla extract
zest of 1 organic lemon
~1/2 c milk, for thinning batter
~1 c organic blueberries (or other berries?) (quantity is flexible, obviously, depending on how berry-chocked you want your pancakes)

The night before you want to cook pancakes: Whisk dry ingredients (except for baking powder) together in a large bowl. Whisk yogurt, butter, eggs, vanilla and lemon zest in another bowl. Add wet ingredients to the dry, whisking until just small lumps remain. Cover and refrigerate until morning.

Cooking day: Sprinkle baking powder over the top of the batter and gradually whisk in milk until the batter is as thin/thick as you like.

Heat up a griddle and grease it with butter. Cook the pancakes, dropping blueberries on the batter circles before flipping them--I like to use a 1/4 c scoop to dish out regular doses of batter. Eat with pats of organic butter and warm maple syrup.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++

*I loved Deb's tip of melting half the butter, then stirring in the other half. Cools the melted better right down, so you can add it in right away.

big boy farm quilt progress

2011-08-04T10:02:00.000-07:00

Friends, today my brain is as foggy and misty as the weather outside. Perhaps it's a good day to share some progress on Jacky's Farm Quilt for his future big boy bed. (Ah, bed. Let's crawl back in, shall we?)

I started this in Lake Almanor (along with a good book, this is a happy-making type of vacay project) and wrapped up the six blocks of animals on linen the other night. It was kind of bittersweet: progress is good, but it was such a relaxing post-dinner craft, and I really liked learning to embroider. Granted, I'm still learning. If the welfare of the human race depended on my being able to make a French Knot, we'd all be in trouble (but what a great movie plot! ha). But, the stitches I do know how to do, I love.

Remaining: a seventh block with J's name and date (or something like that) on it. I'm researching fonts and layouts... which, if you care about fonts, you know: this can bog a girl down. The rest of the quilt blocks will be other shades of linen, printed with slightly more graphic farm-themed (haystacks, bees, windmill, etc) patterns. I'll show you when they're out of my head and on the fabric :)

For now, meet the menagerie.

If you missed the earlier mention, this farm quilt project is from the super book, Embroidery Companion by Alicia Paulson. Love her blog, too.

Do you guys embroider??

ww

2011-08-03T09:20:00.000-07:00

we plan, we cook, we eat

2011-08-02T09:51:00.000-07:00

walnut & fig multigrain bread

Meal-planning for the week

I've been thumbing and cooking through Kristen's copy of Gwynnie's cookbook, and this week's eating reflects it. So, are you into her book? To be honest, like many, I initially rolled my eyes all the way around my head when I first read she'd written one. Why? I don't know. Reverse snobbery or something. Or residual, built-up annoyance at some of her GOOP newsletters. All those vegan cleanses, "lifestyle tips" and "everywoman" $1000+ shoes.

But really. If I'm honest... 1) she's cooking real food for her kids; 2) yeah, there are way too many celebrity cookbooks; but 3) one thing I find more annoying than celebrity cookbooks is when famous people perpetuate the myth that cooking is hard or only something you have a personal chef load into your kitchen each week.

So, the book. I like it. Most of the recipes are for basics or fancied-up basics, but they're generally good versions, made with real ingredients and love. My only beef is a tricky visual one: the food is good and interesting, but just as you kind of relate to the idea of Gwyneth as this nurturing earthy mama with genuine ideas about food... smack! a staggeringly sparkly, glamourous, magazine-y photo of the actress reminds you that this is a celebrity cookbook. Which is fine. It is what it is.

+++++++++++++++

Monday | Taco Night with home-cooked black beans

Tuesday | Whole roasted fish* with garden chard and broiled polenta* wedges

Wednesday | Spaghetti Limone Parmeggiano* with garden fava beans

Thursday | Chicken Enchiladas (using shredded chicken from stock-making*)

Friday | Steakhouse Dinner Night

+++++++++++++++

Fridge- & pantry-stocking:

walnut & fig multigrain bread
home-cooked chickpeas
miso dressing*
chicken stock*
chicken salad (from stock-making)

+++++++++++++++

* from My Father's Daughter, Gwyneth Paltrow

at the table

2011-07-29T14:23:00.000-07:00

It's where life is lived. And where I fall in love with this little boy a little more each day.

book love & canning update

2011-07-28T10:10:00.000-07:00

I'm happy to report that the canning is happening! Remember my big hairy audacious plans? My evil plans are slowly unfolding and the jars are accumulating. True to my nature, the plan has, um, evolved a little. I'm making some of the stuff originally on the list, but... each time I leaf through my favorite canning books or, say, spy some awesome peaches or fresh-dug garlic... my greedy canning brain (what, you don't have one?) kicks into overdrive. Waitaminute, I could CAN that.

Let me reassert my total love for my favorite canning book: Canning for a New Generation, Bold Fresh Flavors for the Modern Pantry, by Liana Krissof. If you're into canning and want to make some recipes that are totally unique and updated in terms of flavor combos, pick this one up. The sheer number of recipes is staggering, and they're all so interesting. There's the old-school jam and jelly stuff, but then there's also recipes for stuff like fermented yard-long beans, Persian tarragon pickles, Japanese nuka fermentation.

So, what have I made so far?

Pickled Asparagus | from Eugenia Bone's Well Preserved -- another awesome book I mentioned earlier.

Meyer Lemon & Rose Petal marmalade | from Canning for a New Generation (CNG). My first marmalade, and it's a a great recipe, if a little labor intensive (worth it). The rose petal taste is super subtle.

Pickled Tuscan Kale with Habanero | from CNG. The flavors are still melding or whatever they do in those jars, so I haven't tasted yet. But, the kale was from my garden, and it should be quite spicy, so I'm giving it a premature thumbs up. Oh, and: the recipe in CNG that got the garden shears in my hand was this: drain a jar of spicy kale and then dip little tangles (along with sweet potato slices) in tempura batter. Fry up until puffy and devour over rice with a sweet drizzling sauce made with the pickling liquid. Am I crazy or does that sound awesome.

Strawberry & Lemon preserves | Just awesome, also from CNG. With the rind-on slices of lemon in there, it's an interesting riff on classic low-sugar preserves. Next time, I would add a vanilla bean.

Strawberry & Lavender jam | from CNG. The lavender is from my garden and it's pretty subtle... just makes the jam a bit more interesting. Me like.

Next up for this weekend (probably):

Peach, Mango & Habanero hot sauce | from CNG. People, I like the spice.

Pickled Garlic, a few different ways | from CNG. I had a little garlic mishap in the garden: the tops got shaded out by the fava forest, and the papery outer wrappers just disappeared both above the ground and below. Woops. So I dug up a basket full of perfectly "peeled" garlic that needs to be used pronto. Paging, doctor canning pot. Some half-pint jars will be spicy, some less so... I have a feeling a certain toddler might want to try. He loves him some pickles.

And then later...

Spicy Carrots, and then perhaps I'll be able to knock off some of the Summer items on the Can Plan list. One season at a time.

Are you doing any canning this year? I keep thinking of having a canning party, but so far this stuff is happening randomly during naps and after successful early bedtimes. Someday!

five years

2011-07-27T00:01:00.000-07:00

my dear Dad, Charlie
1932-2006

Five years ago, I lost my Dad. Five years ago, a long, frightening month in San Diego of worrying, soothing, helping, crying came to an end in the wee hours of the morning. He went from a quite spry 74 year old to... well, (physically) gone... so quickly. Yes, cancer.

I could tell you about how scalding the dying process was, for all of us: my Dad (he had been through this with my Mom; he knew what was coming), my brothers, me. True, there were moments of quiet joy and bonding (crosswords and Padre games, set to the soundtrack of Dr Ralph Stanley), but mostly it was just very scary and difficult. If you've been through the whole thing, the hospital time, the diagnosis, followed by the eventual "time to come home"... then you know. This is a pretty recent loss for me, so I'd rather not dwell in the dark place too much today.

I'd rather tell you this. My Dad's name was Charlie. We gave Jacky his middle name in honor of my Dad. He was a child of Russian-Jew immigrants, an English teacher, a sports coach (and fan), a hunter, a one-time body-builder (evidenced above), a one-time truck driver, a restauranteur, a classic car guy, a lead-footed driver, an open-armed adopter of a young girl (me), a friend to many, many, many. He had a temper, but he was passionate and kind. He was a staggeringly generous man... and he was memorable: my whole childhood, we couldn't go anywhere without being stopped... "coach Kahan!?!" (cue children w/eyes rolling. we learned to appreciate his popularity later.). He was that guy.

He floated the Amazon twice, safari'd in Africa, drove around Europe in a VW van and both ran with the Pamplona bulls and attended the 1960 Rome Olympics (how cool must that have been!), and drove us kids up to Montana many Summers to fish and shoot guns. He was in the Navy during the Korean War, and riveted us at the dinner table with the more G-rated stories of life at sea and on Guam.

He made a perfect potato salad, a holdover from helping out in the family's deli as a child. When I would come home to visit, he always had "puttered" a little in the kitchen... while we caught up on our political "discussions," there would be a little something to nosh on: homemade ceviche, maybe some guacamole, some delicious onion dip (from the packet, natch. the best.). He loved to bake, especially with a little booze tipped in ("doctoring it up"). He was a true child of the Depression, always keeping an eye out for food and financial security. He always put his children first. In the aftermath of my Mom's death, when I called him a little depressed from somewhere in Italy (the post-college trip), and suggested that maybe I should just come to SD to help him instead of moving to San Francisco to start my career, he was absolute: no way, you follow your own path. He always knew the right thing to do.

My Dad was a life-long San Diegan, aside from his Navy years. He made friends for life, and never lost touch with people... elementary/Jr High/HS school classmates, ex-students, colleagues, hunting buddies, business partners. He taught us the Golden Rule: do unto others... His funeral is a bit of a blur to me now, but I still feel the glow of the many friends (including my Jr High PE coach!) who stood up and told stories that were heart-searing and hilarious and tearful. It was how all of us would want to be honored, I think.

I like telling people about my Dad, and I could go on. But, I think you get it. He was a special guy. He's truly missed, but we still feel him.

Thanks for reading. xoxo

pesto, my way

2011-07-26T10:13:00.000-07:00

Pretty much sums up my feelings! There are fancy artichoke or kale pestos out there, which are awesome, but I kinda go nuts for straight up basil-y pesto all Summer long. If I have a big jar of this stuff in the fridge, then you know all is well in my world.

As I mentioned earlier, I used to have trouble making a bright green, fresh-tasting pesto. I'm sure you're with me: sludge-y, dark, bitter pesto just isn't worthy of the name. Allow me to share my personal approach for a version that deserves to be slathered on everything.

Before I do so, let me say, this isn't a fancy, magical, or obscure method. Just a super simple, reliable pesto method that I like. For all I know, you might do it the same way!

It all started a couple of years ago with Heidi's "How to Make Pesto Like an Italian Grandmother" post: hand-chopped pesto with fresh-tasting, identifiable bits smothered by a truck-load of olive oil. I tried this technique, and let me tell you: it tasted AMAZING. Bright, basil-y, garlicky, incredible.

But... my wrist was hurting for a couple of days after. Granted, my "knife skills" are better now, but still. If I'm making a big batch of pesto each week, not sure this is going to happen.

So, my revised technique utilizes a food processor instead of a knife, and borrows the key ideas of the Italian Gram: don't over-chop, don't be afraid of olive oil. It's easy.

Here we go:

1. I make each batch with two large bunches of fresh basil. Don't refrigerate it; make it the day you buy/pick the basil. Pick all the leaves off and place in the food-processor* workbowl. Compost all the stems. You don't want 'em in this pesto.

* I don't use a blender for this method, b/c I think it over-mixes. A FP just chops if you use the pulse button.

2. Peel 2-3 large garlic cloves and throw them in, along with a large handful (or more) of grated parmesan. Sprinkle liberally with salt and pepper and drizzle over a generous (~1/2 c?) amount of extra virgin olive oil*.

I don't use pine nuts! I know, crazy, but I have grown to really like the fresh, biting taste of basil, cheese and garlic. Add 'em if you want.

* This method uses a staggering amount of olive oil, but just remember you're not going to eat it all at once! Plus, it's good for you :)

3. Put the lid on the workbowl and pulse for a very short time: 2-3 seconds. The mixture should just be roughly broken down (see below). This gets everything the same size. Scrape the sides down, then add the final olive oil: probably another 1/4-1/2 c.

4. Pulse again for 2 seconds, and if you have enough olive oil, it should look like this (below). Don't process any longer, or it'll go dark and nasty. Taste for salt and pepper... and maybe stir in a tiny squirt of lemon juice? Sometimes it's just needed.

5. The trick to storing (and preventing the dread blackened pesto) is, as you probably know, to keep the air out. Scrape the pesto into a clean jar and gently float a 1/2" layer of olive oil on top. Put the cap on and refrigerate. It's probably best to use it all up within a week or two.

When you do want to use some, take the pesto out to come to room temp. Pour the oil layer off into a small bowl, then scoop out the desired quantity. To store again, smooth out the top of the pesto and replace the oil layer on top.

Of course, if you want to eat the pesto right away, what's better than pizza? :) Yep, it's the same recipe as last week. It's gotten the Toddler Thumbs Up.

Soooo, I'm curious, how do you make pesto? Do you? There are a million different ways and ingredient combos. I'd love to hear about it!

garden update: mid-summer

2011-07-21T10:55:00.000-07:00

As a follow-up to yesterday's tiny taste, here's a huge main serving of what's up in the garden. Summer has come to San Francisco! At least, this week.

Seriously, it's been heavenly here: warm, so the plants and people are happy, but not like crazy mid-west heat-wave hot. It's been lovely, which makes a girl want to linger over watering and finally bring the camera outside again!

hello morning glories (they're wild here)

herb city (who needs some mint? sage? thyme??)

The timing of Summer in SF is, as you must know by now, a tricky thing. The reliably gorgeous late Spring can trick you into planting heat-loving plants, only to have them go all yuck in the fog. (See: last year.) This year, I decided to wait out the fog a little and hold off on the big-time Summer stuff (tomatoes, squash, etc) until now-ish or a little later. Still figuring this place out.

But, even though Summer here is elusive and tricky, it's undeniable that it's a time of transition and overlap out back. Spring plants have been holding on for a long time (we still have peas & favas!), the kale seems to know no season (hello harvest!), and the squashes (summer & winter) are off and running.

It's a season of many players:

1. The pretty

sweet peas & sunflowers
(plus our other "weed": nasturtiums)

'cupani's original'

'april in paris'

'cupani's original'

volunteer blue borage (ok, it'll be prettier when it blooms!)

super baby sunflowers

the promise of blackberries

2. The yummy

Alpine strawberries

"regular" strawberries

3. The Future

more blackberry promises (aka bee mecca)

wee, delicate green bean vines

...and the wee beans

future snacks (aka sunflowers)

summer squash (we're growing regular zucchini & 'ronde de nice')

future slicers
(for Kristen's dad;
I've learned, begrudgingly, to limit myself to cherries and other small tomatoes)

4. The New

new standing-height bed for herbs, lettuces, overgrown(!) spinach and blueberries

new native plant bed

so fuzzy

love this foliage

'starlight' echinacea

5. The Old

the bolting kale & the very tall, very senior peas.
i'm saving seeds for both.

beautiful bolting lettuce.
it will give me seeds for my new favorite lettuce, so it can stay and do its thing.

cilantro, in flower

dill, in flower.
these you can dry and put whole into pickle jars. pretty no?

6. The tenacious

lemon verbena, from the previous homeowners
we've built a deck in its sunlight, squashed it with bags of soil.
it wont stop, and it smells soooooo good.

wordless wednesday

2011-07-20T10:33:00.000-07:00

pizza | sun, stripes & pesto

2011-07-19T10:06:00.000-07:00

Remember pizza? It's been a while. This one incorporates a few of my favorite things: sungold tomatoes, stripey baby pattypans and really good homemade pesto.

On Sunday, Jacky and I triked down to our local farmer's market to fulfill his (ok, our) berry needs. Plus, beets and whatever else we found.

It's the first year that our little hood has had a market and I try to go as much as possible so it'll be back next year. Being a small market, I kinda figured it would be populated by the usual suspects (basic fruit & veg). You know, good but not wow.

Wrong: we bought cardoons! interesting red mizuna... dandelions... red baby bok choy. There are flower vendors, pastured eggs, good fish... fronds laden with fennel pollen.

And I realized a major gardening error this year. I have a handful of different squashes (summer & winter) growing out back, but didn't plant any pattypans. You know, the flying saucer-shaped summer squashes. I love those guys and we ate a lot of them last year. I think was silly and thought I was sick of them. Woops.

Well, I bought some instead. The tiniest, cutest, stripiest little babies.

To the pizza they went. Well, two of them.

+++++++++++++++++++++

Sun, Stripes & Pesto Pizza

basic pizza recipe + homemade pesto* + shredded mozzarella

+ thinly sliced baby pattypan squash (2)

+ handful of sungold tomatoes (halved)

+ sliced red onion

---

drizzle with olive oil, especially exposed dough. sprinkle with salt.

bake per recipe.

slice and devour.

++++++++++++++++++++++

* Any interest in my pesto method? It's kind of a no-brainer, but I have to admit I used be to stumped by making really good, fresh-tasting pesto (versus: gloppy, dark, bitter pesto). If so, I'll post, b/c tis the season!

Renegade: what I bought

2011-07-14T10:23:00.000-07:00

So, the drive back from the lake wasn't too, too bad on Saturday (made it back before (everyone's) naptime--yes) so I rallied for a Sunday morning outing to Renegade. Yay!

Last year, there was a small fire the day I went, but this year, the excitement was all in the wares. And the people... I met some very lovely people. Which is one of the things I love best about Renegade: there's a little hipster posturing here and there, but most everyone is super friendly, authentic, and will enthusiastically talk process and general art-making. Makes me happy. (Just between you and I: I hope to sell stuff at Renegade some day.)

So, wanna see what I bought? This haul is funny to me: I wandered around picking up this and that semi-impulsively, but the net is such an accurate picture of where my head's at right now: linen, geometrics, linen, hand-drawing, nubby textures. And linen. Yup.

(clockwise from top left) Small Planter, The Ranch Design Group;
Tribal Brooch, Voz Clothing and Art (I think--no branding on the pin, oops);
Linen Coasters, Erin Dollar; Linen Napkins, Linea Carta;
"Small Abstract Orb" ink drawing, Erin Dollar;
"Stuff" linen zipper pouch and linen iPhone cozy, Jen Hewett.

I especially love this drawing by Erin Dollar. It's original art, not a print, which I love.
Plus, she was such a sweet person to talk with.

I had a bit of an itchy wallet freak-out at The Ranch's booth.
Seriously, if you also dig earthy 70s-style ceramics, get thee to their website and check it.
I love their stuff so much. Still freaking out.

Another really sweet person, Jen Hewett. I think this iPhone cozy is just so darling.
And, somehow, I really like teal again.

I have visions of rockin this one all Afrika Bambaataa style. Rad right? Ha.
Actually, I'll probably just pin it on a bag and call myself cool enough.

And, linen. I cannot resist. Especially dinner napkins in a borderline obnoxious (in a good way!)
color palette. I will always say yes. Plus, the designer, Diva Pyari,
was also very nice to chat with.

Anyone else go to Renegade? LA is this coming w/e!

wordless wednesday

2011-07-13T09:13:00.001-07:00

we plan, we cook, we eat

2011-07-11T21:44:00.000-07:00

We've been seriously winging things lately in the dinner department. The question "what should we eat for dinner" has been met by... crickets lately. What the heck. I mean, we go food shopping in a given week more often than I'll admit, plus we have a bin of beautiful produce (what we can't grow here) delivered on Thursdays.... plus there's that VEGETABLE GARDEN out back. Dude. The only thing I know how to do in situations like this is Make A List.

Commence meal-planning.

Mon :: Taco Nite w/spicy pickled carrots, onion & jalapeños

Tue :: Shrimp and Chive Dumpling soup w/steamed bok choy (soup in summer you say? hello, San Francisco.)

Wed :: Southwestern Turkey Burgers (served w/pickled onion & jalapeños from Mon)

Thu :: Jamie Oliver's lamb & pistachio kebabs (served w/homemade yogurt & garden lettuces)

Fri :: Skirt steak, veg & potatoes of some sort (Toby's beloved week-ending steakhouse-style meal)

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

And... since we were away from home for a week, today was a serious Catching Up With Ma Ingalls type of day. I'll never ever get sick of a day spent in the kitchen, assisted (when awake) by my favorite helper.

Today's kitchen 'did-do' list:

- vegetable stock (for Tues dinner)
- bread dough for 3 loaves (will bake on Tues morning)
- pickled veg for Mon & Wed
- roasted beets for random lunches
- pot o' black beans for Mon and rest of week
- yogurt (part one; on Tuesday we drain, Greek-style.)

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

What are you eating this week?! Any good recipes? Need more data.

a week on the lake

2011-07-10T21:52:00.000-07:00

Lake Almanor, CA

:: photos by Toby ::

smoothies!

2011-07-08T05:00:00.000-07:00

hey, it only took me half a glass to remember a photo!

I kinda forgot about smoothies for a while. Duh!

Maybe I OD'd on them in college: San Luis Obispo is, as you all certainly know, the birthplace of Jamba Juice (known then as Juice Club... fancy).

So, it had been a while. But, our usual Saturday breakie routine reminded me of it: we always make blueberry sourdough pancakes and have some of Toby's homemade breakfast sausage (the best ever; I'll post soon)... which is a delicious start to the weekend.

But a couple of weeks ago, it just seemed that we might balance out all that Saturday morning bready, meaty goodness with some, ya know, vitamins. We needed to drink some berries!

Am I the only one who sort of forgot about smoothies? Well, if you're in my camp, consider this a gentle prod. They couldn't be easier and seem to please the little ones. Especially if they're allowed to help dump in the ingredients. My little man was thrilled the first time the blender screamed to life and buzzed up a pretty pink treat.

This is almost too simple (I see your eyes rolling!) to write up as a recipe, but again... just a reminder!

+++

Simple Berry Smoothies
made 2 pint glasses and 1 kid cup

2 cups orange juice
2 cups frozen mixed berries (yes, it's berry season, but if you use frozen, you can omit ice)
1 ripe banana
big scoop of yogurt (we use Fage--full fat)

Buzz in the blender till smooth. Drink with straws. Ahhh, ice cream headache.

+++

Extra credit: freeze this mix as popsicles!

just like jane and lizzie

2011-07-07T05:00:00.000-07:00

Is anyone else out there a huge Pride & Prejudice nerd? Kristen, I know you are. You turned me into one. But, anyone else?

Dumb question, I know: it's awesome. The book is magnificent... but what I'm really talking about right now is the BBC adaptation. I'm such a nerd for it.

The costumes, the music, the manners, the sly put-downs, the Colin Firth.

Kristen is really the one who got me hooked on the 6-part miniseries when we lived together, and one of the scenes we both liked best is a small, simple one: when Lizzie and Jane have come in from a Summer day harvesting lavender and other herbs and they're having Important Girl Talk (proposals, mansions, the like) while they hang pretty bundles of herbs for drying. Of course they've been wearing bonnets and have on delicate floral dresses (if memory serves), and they brought their haul in with perfect English baskets. Sigh.

Last week, as I hung up the masses of herbs I had to harvest before departing (they were taking OVER), I couldn't help but smile a sly smile. Just like Jane and Lizzie.

sage, thyme, lemon verbena

wordless wednesday

2011-07-06T05:00:00.000-07:00

a taste of home

2011-07-04T05:00:00.000-07:00

Maybe some of you are in the same camp as me: some of my favorite types of vacations are not in interesting or decadent hotels (though I will take that). They take place in rental homes or flats. Toby and I have done this a few times, including Barcelona twice. It can be a little more complicated: shopping for food (which I love), cooking (which I love), sleeping till whenever (pre-kids)... or maybe being awoken by water flooding in from the upstairs flat (Barcelona. Really. My high school Spanish was tested.).

Anyway, our current trip falls in this category, although the in-laws have rented the place (no complaints). We're staying in a pretty lakefront house about 4+ hours North of SF. It's be comfy and relaxing. But, you know what's the icing on the cake? Bringing a taste of home.

Because we can pack as much crap into our car as we want, along with wetsuits, embroidery projects, magazines and books, we've toted some homemade bread, pickled asparagus, granola and meyer lemon/rose petal marmalade. Also not pictured: homemade pesto and the best batch of yogurt I've ever made. (I need to post about it.)

We also volunteered to make a couple meals: Taco Night (our Monday usual) and Pizza Night (Toby's making a batch of dough at the house).

Should be delicious and fun. What about you? Do you like cooking & tending while on vacay? Or are you firmly off the clock? :)

PS: Happy Fourth!

heading out

2011-07-01T05:00:00.000-07:00

The bags are packed (almost), the cat-sitter arranged, the garden-sitter prepped (thank you Kristen!). It's time to head out for some classic Summer relaxification. Cloud-watching, drink-sipping, lake-watching, the usual business.

I can't wait. I have some serious nothing planned, but also a few fun projects. First of which is some embroidery. A certain little someone in our house may be receiving a farm-themed quilt for his eventual Big Boy Bed. Shhh, don't tell.

Farm fresh quilt, from this awesome book.
Did you know she has a great blog?

And, I'm at kind of a turning point with my New Career Thingy (I like to keep you in the dark, sorry. I'm a Scorpio, just too dang private.)... like, been doing lots of designing, about to launch into making. This is a great time to pause, think, plan, refine.

I can't think of a better, prettier place to put these thoughts than in these new Rifle Paper notebooks from Chronicle Books that my dear friend Kristen designed. Gasp--they are perfect, no?

The colors, the gold. Love.

And, please stop by again next week. I've decided to be a bit more of a grown-up blog proprietress. I've scheduled some posts to run while I'm busy ditching my farmer tan :)

guest post at domestic reflections

2011-06-30T09:33:00.000-07:00

Howdy! I was thrilled to post a little Summery something over at Jora's blog today, while she's busy being fabulous in Europe.

I (clearly) have Summer on the brain... and the sun is back in SF today! Ahhhhh.

Come visit!

hot child in the city

2011-06-23T16:45:00.000-07:00

On the scorching days, this is how we do it in SF, land of not many swimming pools.

turning pink. not working, mama.

better...

ahhhhhhhhh

happy

that baby bathtub just won't quit. bring it, summer! we're ready.

present for my mama

2011-06-22T10:25:00.000-07:00

these words and pictures are a simple wish. they're a very happy birthday to my dear mom, who was once (I like to imagine) a tiny, pink, cherished arrival at the sweet start of Summer, 66 years ago today.

a few things that would've made her smile right now...

simply a rose

a happy face, a silly game

a furry friend

her Elna in use

one more day at the beach

a gift, well-loved

a very silly face

little things, found and cherished

quiet moments together

xoxoxoxoxoxoxox

project 365 | 2011 | Week 22

2011-06-21T21:57:00.000-07:00

Ugh, peeps. I'm super behind on my 365 posts. Eeek! See what happens when I'm busy chasing Summer? Going to try to get caught up in a jiff. Starting now.

+++

05 28 11 | he's having a baseball moment
Um, a big one.

05 29 11 | sunday pizza
leftover potato & artichoke hash + meyer lemon
Lately, I am ALL about putting lemon on pizza.

05 30 11 | I spy...
a cute little artist with my
mama camera eye.

05 31 11 | testing, testing
color mixing, just like back in Color Theory class, circa 1993.
(shudder)

06 01 11 | and so it begins
Testing out a later timetable for tomatoes this year.
We call it Project Fog Avoidance.
Wish me luck.

06 02 11 | more testing
printing ideas, revising, re-trying

06 03 11 | uncle max!
he blew in from Brooklyn,
on his way to surf Mexico.
Not bad, eh?

summer wish list

2011-06-09T10:00:00.000-07:00

[image: kate spade ny]

I'm super overdue on my Project 365 post, but.... warm weather is a time of procrastinating, right? Other things are on my mind. Like Summer. It's coming.

Mind you, right now, it's foggy out my studio window, but the afternoon promises warmth and sun. Yes. I need it.

And so, the daydreaming ensues... You know, like when you were little, when June through August felt so magical? Those long, hot days of bright sun and staying out riding bikes until after dark. For me, there were day-camps and overnight camps, bonfires, mosquitoes, chalk on the sidewalk, beach days, driving home from the beach with the windows down, waterfalls, grassy fields, hot sidewalk, popsicles, homegrown sunflowers.

Last year, I had high hopes of getting Super Serious about Making The Most of Summer. But, last year. Oh, last year. Terrible, depressing weather, if you dare remember. Like wool coats and a scarf in July.

But, optimism never dies, right? I'll just hope for better this year. And make a list.

If SF's Summer (whenever it happens, let's be real) is a bust again, I can always cross a bridge or jump on a long road.

+++

My 2011 Summer Wish List... so far

farm tour

painting outside with Jacky

reviving the ladies luncheon with Kristen... home-grown edition

listening to the sound of bees in the garden

take Jacky down Hwy 1 for a special beach day

draw outside
lots of time at the water table (Jacky)

have a picnic in Golden Gate Park (on a very warm day, please)

ride a bike at dusk

eat cherry tomatoes off the vine

go to a u-pick on Hwy 1 for berries

return to Angel Island (tho I'm nervous it couldn't be as wonderful as this day)

do a local overnight camping trip

set up our composting tumbler

make sun-prints with Jacky

make sun tea
do lots and lots of canning (esp craving homemade ketchup right now)

dry clothes on a line

build Jacky a playhouse outside (-->borrowed from Toby's to-do list)

go back to McLaren park to explore the hiking trails (on a very warm day, please)
plant some bamboo
get a hammock?? (always on my list, as Toby can attest)

+++

And you? What's in your Summer daydreams?

reinvention, cont.

2011-06-07T10:43:00.000-07:00

mural at Argonne Community Garden

Reinvention. I thrive on it. I need it.

I'm in the midst of it.

I'll be honest: I'm having a really. good. time. I'm making things (or the seeds of new things). I'm learning new tricks, trying new ideas, making long lists of more ideas. Rather than willing the clock forward, I'm now dragging myself away from this new work reluctantly at the end of each session.

But, as anyone else can tell you... Becoming something new is hard. Finding a new foundation of just what it is I do is real work. There are doubts, and there are moments of true spark, and there is the satisfaction of some progress.

Trying ideas, discarding, winnowing, choosing.

No matter what creative area I've attempted (graphic design, art history writing, or this new art-making)... my biggest challenge is not what my hands or mind can or can't do. It's keeping my head pointed in the right direction. A positive direction. For me, in the creative process, there are many moments of elation and excitement... too many ideas to jot down and try out.

But also... if I'm not really disciplined (keep moving, keep moving), there's this sneaky monkey called inertia and doubt lurking in dark corners, whispering, "maybe you really can't... why are you trying this... what makes you think you can..."

+++

But. Most days, I know I can. That's the thing. I have done, and will do again. I guess it's just keeping my head clear and knowing that just showing up and trying is half the battle (or more). Being creative is hard work. Newness is messy and raggedy around the edges. And I'm IMPATIENT. (You too?)

+++

And so... something to share. Something I like:

I found this video via Margaret Roach's blog. It's a TED talk given by Elizabeth Gilbert on creativity and PRESSURE. I never felt compelled to read Eat, Pray, Love (should I??) but she's pretty fearless and lovable in this video.

Gives one (me) the courage to tell that doubt-monkey to shut up and just put in the work.

project 365 | 2011 | Week 21

2011-05-31T21:21:00.000-07:00

05 21 11 | what a grind.
Jacky takes a break from his "laptop" number-crunching.

05 22 11 | know what's good?
meyer lemon water.
segmenting, chopping and general fussing
over marmalade makes a lady thirsty.

05 23 11 | know what's better?
marmalade on toast.
with butter.
uh huh.

05 24 11 | is this uncool?
who posts photos of their kid on the potty??
I guess... me, that's who.
I think he's cute. so does "potty doggy."
mwaw.

05 25 11 | makin' it old school.
I love me some pattern.
brush and ink style.

05 26 11 | field trip & pilgrimage.
for art-making advice
and some blue skies & sun.

05 27 11 | cheers
this particular Friday called for...

Blood Orange Champagne Cocktail
(soak a sugar cube with blood orange (or other) bitters;
top up with champagne; garnish with lemon zest spiral)

darth helmet, jr.

2011-05-27T14:01:00.000-07:00

a boy and his Bilibo. (-- anyone else have one? I thought it was so... random? But I guess that's the whole point. Such a winner.)

have a great holiday weekend!

xoxo

project 365 | 2011 | Week 20

2011-05-22T21:50:00.000-07:00

05 14 11 | tis the season
for garden roses

05 15 11 | a new project
for idle moments...
stitch by stitch
|| from Embroidery Companion, by Alicia Paulson ||

05 16 11 | self-portrait
Jacky 2.5

05 17 11 | special visit from Mimi
reading, drawing and lunching
with the Jacky man

05 18 11 | spring pizza
basically, sort of a redux of this one from last year,
plus jarred Mezzetta hot peppers (yum)

05 19 11 | guilty
I love linen.
Made a special trip to Britex
to make real some ideas.

05 20 11 | just pickle me
I wish.
For now, 5# of asparagus
will have to do.

today was a good day

2011-05-20T21:13:00.000-07:00

{there may or may not be big boy ki-ki's on my head. you be the judge.}

1. wee wee in the potty... x4!
2. my two children (actual & fur) hung out. Like, in the same room without anyone leaving in a furry, panicky state. There was petting, almost-screaming-for-joy, being-quiet-practicing, treat-giving, general hangin'. This hasn't happened in almost a year.
3. I canned some stuff.
4. Said canning went well enough during naptime that I kept the elliptical in a good working order.
5. I didn't even have to use my AK*
6. Friday gin & tonic
7. Husband played Black Flag while we washed up. Somehow, it works.

*some items not from my actual life.

just bag it

2011-05-18T12:52:00.000-07:00

As I was driving out to this beautiful spot today, listening to the local public radio station with the shorter pledge breaks, they were talking about the new documentary, Bag It. Anyone seen it (heard of it?)... I don't see many movies lately (ok, ever), but it sounded like a good, informative, non-preachy movie about not just too many plastic bags, but plastic in general: the ever-present BPA, phthalates, etc. Sounded like a good movie not just for the "converted" -- you know?

(PS: if you're into this sort of thing, check out Tapped. Motivating. Like, I'm steering clear of plastic bottles forever.)

When I worked for my now ex-employer (manufacturer of mostly plastic toys), we were super aware of these harmful substances, since there are some helpful bans concerning children's products. We couldn't put harmful chemicals in kid's toys (which is good seeing that they all go in the mouth)... but other industries can put 'em in other stuff you ingest. Super bad news, especially for pregnant ladies. (As you all probably are very well aware.)

So, this stuff is on my radar. I may not see this film right away, but hearing about Bag It was just a good reminder that although our household has already cut out some harmful stuff--we don't microwave any food in plastics (super bad), we've mostly stopped eating canned beans/other food (I'm soaking some gorgeous beans this very minute), and we mostly try to avoid lotions etc that contain all that crap (exhibit A)--we still have some areas to cut out the plastic.

For one, we still have a little zip-loc bag habit going. I still use 'em to freeze home-baked bread... store crackers... granola. I guess I could switch to glass for some of this stuff. Maybe foil? It's a little confusing.

Anyone else trying to tackle the plastic? Any good ideas?

project 365 | 2011 | Week 19

2011-05-16T16:25:00.000-07:00

05 07 11 | P is for pesto
I couldn't help myself; we've started in on the pesto-making
a tad early this year. I just love it so much...
those first whiffs of spicy, summery basil make me crazy.

This batch (my 3rd so far) was a little experiment:
I heard you can use pistachios in place of pine nuts (we were almost out).
Sorry to say I'm not sold: best batch lately was when I forgot all nuts.
Nuts? maybe. But tasty? yep.

05 08 11 | they're here
first of many waves of perfect green little wonders, let's hope

05 09 11 | finally
step-stool + good mood (mine)
= long-awaited access to The Junk Corner.
Pandora's box is open.

05 10 11 | don't forget to look up
I've turned into an incorrigible cloud-watcher.

05 11 11 | a must...
for my new workspace
(photos coming very soon!)

05 12 11 | ramps
why, hello there.
should I pickle you??

05 13 11 | quiet moment
a boy, his "boat" and a good read.
Let me never get enough of this.

do you hollandaise?

2011-05-11T21:03:00.000-07:00

asparagus benedict
(w/side of Toby's "bistro potatoes" and oven-roasted bacon, natch)

Behold my mother's day brunch. (You'll have to imagine the mimosa I had in my other hand.) And by brunch, I of course am referring to the glamorous hour of, oh... 8:30am. Ah, yes, toddler time.

Around these parts, we kick off special days with a nice brunch. Lately, that means something or other drizzled with homemade hollandaise sauce. "Fill-in-the-blank benedict." For me, I wanted roasted asparagus under those poached eggs and plenty of tarragon in the sauce (a deviation). I just finished that Julia Child book and she and Avis Devoto wax poetic about tarragon for pages. It's a must-have in my kitchen lately.

So, do you hollandaise? Bear in mind, dearies, that this oh-so-rich sauce (I was not hungry again until 6pm that day) was once regularly served over steak. Oooof. My point is that it was once a sauce well-known to the home cook. Today, not so much.

Our hollandaise is a bit of short-cut: we buzz it up in the blender faster than you can open another bottle of bub. For serious. Give it a try.

+++

Blender Hollandaise
adapted from Joy of Cooking

:: Combine in a blender:

3 large egg yolks
2 t. fresh lemon juice
Pinch ground red pepper
1/2 t. salt
1 sprig of fresh tarragon

:: Pulse until tarragon is chopped and everything is combined evenly.

:: Heat until bubbling:

1/2 c. (1 stick) butter

:: Remove from heat. Turn blender on again. After about 3 seconds, pour in the butter in a steady stream. By the time the butter is completely added, the sauce should be nicely uniform. If not fully incorporated, continue blending for 5 seconds longer (don't over-blend). If too thick, thin with warm water. Serve immediately.

If you want to be terribly retro, give it a sprinkle of paprika (we forgot). Mmm, tastes like 1962.

+++

Pssst.

As for the other required player in the Benedict story... poached eggs. Want to know how we do it? I used to be super intimidated, but now it's easy. There are many techniques out there, but here's ours:

:: In a straight-sided pan, heat ~2" water until just barely under a simmer (tiny bubbles, no real movement in the water).

:: Add a splash of white vinegar (some say it's not necessary, but I err on the safe side and use it).

:: To poach: crack an egg into a small prep bowl. Bring the bowl very close to the surface of the water and gently tip it in, minimizing movement as much as possible. Now, leave the egg alone (no touching!) for a few moments, until the whites start to go opaque. Then--very gently--take a large serving spoon and gently nudge the edges of the egg over and onto itself, trying to coax it into a neat shape. Be very delicate; less is more. Basically, you just don't want to move the egg too much while it's setting or it'll get squirrelly and messy. Trust me, I've been there.

:: Let the egg gently cook until all the white is opaque and cooked through (~3 minutes). If you're feeling confident, you can do multiple eggs at once.

:: Either serve immediately (blot dry with a clean kitchen towel) or save for later by chilling cooked eggs in an ice bath. Refrigerate for up to 24 hours, then re-heat in warm water for 5 minutes.

On Sunday, we did the cook-ahead method and I'll probably always do it this way. So easy!

project 365 | 2011 | Week 18

2011-05-10T10:38:00.000-07:00

04 30 11 | stow lake
glorious weather, beautiful day with Nancy
and her sweet fam

05 01 11 | flowers for moi
from moi

05 02 11 | when vegetables make bouquets
bolted rapini: so pretty, who knew?

05 03 11 | before
just a lonely blueberry bush, some weeds
and a very junior apple tree

05 04 11 | after!
my (mostly) california natives bed

05 05 11 | harvested
kale & peas
my good friends

05 06 11 | make this now
springtime on a plate: fava bean, strawberry
and pecorino salad
|| recipe from Incanto ||
(I added mint and served it on homegrown arugula)

my mama, yo mama

2011-05-07T21:58:00.000-07:00

On the occasion of my 3rd Mother's Day, as an actual mama...

How much has changed.

mommy & me | her first mother's day

Since losing my own beloved mother to cancer in 1995, I spent almost a decade and a half avoiding Mother's Day. I limped around with a reopened heart wound each year. I avoided all signs of other people celebrating with their moms. In fact, witnessing any daughter and mother interacting (at any time of year) would sometimes send me into a spiral of envy and grief. How I wanted that type of connection--in our case, absolute love and understanding--back.

Now? Hmm, now Mother's Day is a mix. Which is, trust me, a huge improvement.

mama & J | my first mother's day

The painful, unchanged reality of her absence all these years is always in my face, but it's now soothed so greatly by the sweet, innocent, pure joy of a new, budding life. A house full of toddler shrieks and laughter. New beginnings every day. A young life that traces its roots back to her. Directly back to her denim-blue eyes and zany silliness. She is with me again.

Of course, it's the same way that Jacky embodies all those who love him: he has my mother-in-law's throaty laugh, my biological father's freckles (count 'em: 3 now!), his father's sweetly curved upper lip, my toes (like, exactly, since day one) and on and on.

Bringing this special little person into the world is an act of beautiful expression. And, this new job that I have, this mothering, is by far the best job that I've had. It's a privilege, and it brings me peace.

I hope you all, whether you're a mother, a mother's child or someone who simply cares and nurtures, I hope you have a day (and more) filled with hugs, kisses, fulfillment and peace. Pay that love forward.

xoxo

this garden, this morning

2011-05-05T11:08:00.000-07:00

{feliz cumpleaños, gatito...#13!}

project 365 | 2011 | Week 17

2011-05-03T22:11:00.000-07:00

04 23 11 | reading up
gonna build mama something

04 24 11 | "think jacky hold the camera!"
ok, press the button... nice one.

04 25 11 | new favorite spot
cute and sometimes frustrating, all at once.

04 26 11 | the makings of dinner
shelled favas, mint pesto &
Toby's homemade country sausage (so, so good)
recipe via Martha

04 27 11 | buried and found
dug up in the backyard: clues of the family
who lived here before us for 50 years:
two marbles, pottery chunks, glass, nails, old pipes

(originally posted to instagram... do you instagram? you should! it's fun.)

04 28 11 | sick day
first fever, first flu.
wow, astounding knock out. slept on the couch all day.
placing a cool washcloth on his forehead was one of those
"you know you're finally a parent when..." moments.
bendy straws, cool compresses,
couch sleeping and lots of love: my mom did all that.

04 29 11 | draw me an excavator!
illustration time with Daddy, in Jacky's Own Notebook.
(formerly one of my work notebooks: a good re-use, no?)

what a difference a (garden) year makes

2011-04-26T22:03:00.000-07:00

Understatement of the century: gardening mellows the gardener.

Fo reals. In this second year of our "new" garden, I keep marveling at the differences between Years One and Two. Last year, I would monitor Jacky like a hawk-mother, vigilant for seedling grabs and fistfuls of gravel dumped on plants. This year, ah whatever: I'll just replant. Last year, I had detailed planting maps worked out, and worked hard to stick to them. Everything in its place. This year, I seriously wing it: if there's an open spot, I pick some seed packets and get planting (I can also recognize baby plants (versus weeds) a lot more easily).

True, my garden assistant is a year older: less grabby, entertains himself more and I can even set him loose with a hose and a "job" (water that for mommy please--he'll mostly try to do it). And, I guess I'm just sorta trusting the garden itself more. I'm not freaking out about precise watering, plants bolting (arugula always does) or the fact that the cat keeps sleeping on a pot of freshly-sown flower seeds. Whatever.

Current sampling of garden stuff that I am oh-so cool with (that used to make me crazy)...

:: Peas in the roses. Make that, anything growing anywhere I didn't want. I will admit I'm a total garden micro-manager (e.g., moving pea tendrils and helping them find the right branch to climb--you too? I know I'm not alone.) This year, I'm like... oh, so pretty! Delicate pea flowers and fat pods co-mingling with fragrant roses. Cool. So English right?

:: Crazy seedlings popping up everywhere. Like even in my pristine (sorta) gravel. But, this year... hey, that's blue borage! I love blue borage. Any others? I even water them and try to keep the little dude from smooshing 'em.

:: More borage seedlings and not-so-pristine gravel. The gravel "rearrangement" is courtesy of a particular shovel-wielding toddler (which I'm also shrugging off this year). But, hey, there's also Alpine Strawberry seedlings back there... I just said thank you very much and transplanted them elsewhere. Nice. We actually wanted more strawberry plants.

BTW, those seedlings are popping up everywhere (alpines are perennials that propagate like crazy via seeds, unlike regular strawberries and their runners). At some point, it might be too many.

:: Chard?! In the gravel? See what happens when you sow seeds on a windy day? Seed packet must've tipped over. Last year, I would've been irritated (at what, I don't know... just irritated). This year, I'm like... huh, that's weird. Let's see what happens. Maybe I'll transplant it elsewhere. Chard seems to be super cool with being moved.

Oh, and there's also the artichoke topic I've yet to broach: SIGH. If you remember last year, there were three. We had quite a few meals courtesy of those pretty plants (dang, those photos are killing me). Buuuuut... #1: lost all its leaves and just sorta gave up; #2: GOPHERS-ugh; #3: Still clinging to life sorta. I tried transplanting it to a "better" spot, whereupon it launched a drama routine of looking dead each evening and looking awesome each morning. I don't get it. Such drama. Oh well: maybe I'll rip it out and try something else.

Such is the gardening life.

project 365 | 2011 | Week 16

2011-04-24T22:16:00.000-07:00

04 16 11 | spring veg roast
baby artichokes, fingerling potatoes, meyer lemon
olive oil, S&P... roast.
so, so good.

04 17 11 | mealtimes lately
ack is all I can say.
he is so squirrelly,
it's draining, ridiculous, sometimes hilarious.
sigh.

04 18 11 | how I cook lentils
braise super gently
with carrot, celery, ginger, dried red chiles,
italian parsley, thyme, half an onion, garlic.
after cooking, drain & toss warm with a big splash each:
sesame oil, sherry vinegar & tamari.
serve room temp -- yum!

04 19 11 | what's this big music-making contraption?
it's a stereo, my boy. ste-ree-oh.
track 1 (a current fave):
"we all live in ee wewwow submarine, ee wewwow submarine,
ee wewwow submarine"

04 20 11 | the digging is done
gin & tonic, please.

04 22 11 | the most delicious, least photogenic dish
not so pretty, but OH is it good.
try it now while baby artichokes abound:
|| RECIPE ||

04 22 11 | blueberry scone power
Toby had 11,000 lbs of gravel* to move;
the least I could do was bake him some scones.

*remember Item 1, from here?

baby tree, do we need to have "the talk?"

2011-04-21T21:53:00.000-07:00

Or is it too late.

Um, garden nerds, please rally. (Others: my apologies.) I'm not sure whether to be ELATED or worried. My two-year-old "baby"--the espaliered Gravenstein--is trying to make babies. Aaaaaahhhh!

First, look how beautiful they are! Wow. How did I miss these pretty little buds on my prized apple tree?? The mother is always the last to know.

But, really... should my baby be trying to make apples so soon? I wasn't expecting anything like this till next year.

Ohhhhh.... but aren't they pretty. I love Gravenstein apple blossoms. I'm only growing this tree because at our last house, a neighbor's neglected tree hung right over our fence, sharing with us gorgeous blossoms and delicious fruit (I wasn't shy). I love this variety. (and it's endangered, did you know?)

Really, I am kind of over the moon at the prospect of progress towards real, true apples (and pies, tarts, etc). Have any of you grown apples before? Is this normal? I may check in with the grower, since they were so helpful with my initial selections.

Maybe this is a silly plant geek rant... but such a great example of how it may look like I know what I'm doing, gardening-wise... but the truth is, I'm so very much just finding my way and hoping for the best. Like the rest of life, right?

pizza | asparagus, meyer lemon & rosemary

2011-04-19T21:48:00.000-07:00

I think a glass of wine is a must for food prep, no?

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Pizza | Asparagus, Meyer Lemon & Rosemary

basic pizza recipe

+ brush dough with sliced garlic-steeped olive oil (reserve garlic)

+ sprinkle with handful of mozzarella cheese

+ 4 or so asparagus spears, bottoms snapped off, split in half lengthwise

+ 6 or so paper-thin slices meyer lemon + thin red onion slices

+ few sprigs of rosemary + red pepper flakes to taste + garlic slices

+ drizzle with olive oil + salt the crust

+ bake + garnish with parmesan

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project 365 | 2011 | Week 15

2011-04-17T21:51:00.000-07:00

04 09 11 | your cocktail
enjoyment guaranteed

04 10 11 | blue tower quest
we see this tower out our breakfast window (see here in the distance)
and one day Jacky requested a visit. why not?
it was fun to visit our blue friend, but we also discovered
the second largest park in SF besides Golden Gate (I swear, we do get out).
Lots of trails and a water dog swimming pond. Cool.

04 11 11 | back away from the sprayer
he may be dangerous, but he washes his own lunch

04 12 11 | hot day motivation
some days, I might do too convincing a job of soothing
that boy down for his nap. I'd like to crawl in, too.
cold caffeine sends me outside to dig, dig, dig.

04 13 11 | swaddle me!
the nurturing saga continues.
we've moved on from the nursing pillow
to his huge stack of swaddling blankets.
wrapped up in two, he looked more like
The High Priest of Cozy.

04 14 11 | jasmine & blackberries
one smells oh-so sweet, the other has a blood-lust for conquest.
me, i'm just hoping for jam.

04 15 11 | strike a pose
"we put on aprons and hats.
we do some WORK."
have work ethic, will succeed, my boy.

garden update: year two!

2011-04-14T22:16:00.000-07:00

Our little plot is in its second year. Some old friends are settling in and new faces have appeared. I'll get into more detail in a future post, but here's generally what's doing.

:: OLD FRIENDS ::

blueberries | I moved the two plants out of containers and into the ground.
they like it, along with some coffee fertilizer.
lots more blossoms, clusters and (hopefully) fruit.
hope some of it makes it inside the house.

cavolo nero | kale, I heart you.
so much so that I re-planted you twice this winter/spring.
damn you slugs.

'windsor' fava beans | making baby beans

'alpine' strawberries | they may be tiny but are they good.
and, unlike regular strawberries, they give fruit all year long.

leafy bed | kale, 'sea of red' lettuce, rapini, chard, tiny dill seedlings

'laxton's progress' peas on branches | we had to remove an old plum tree
from our yard, but I kept all the branch trimmings for exactly this.
i love this look.

plum branches | thank you, old tree

leafy bed | more peas, too

the big bed | fava, shallots, garlic and (more) peas

'ashmead's kernel' apple espalier | first tier in place
I'm going with a slightly bowed shape (palmette?)
I think it's pretty graceful.

'ashmead's kernel' apple espalier | second tier starting to sprout

:: NEW FACES ::

lisbon lemon | nice and tart, like i like 'em

potato box (1 of 2) | either 'yukon gold' or 'red pontiac'
i haven't labeled much this year! yikes.

rustic arugula | very nutty and peppery

even more peas! | I decided 3 pea plots weren't enough.
soooo... i'm testing out a new space above the patio with
some blue-podded beauties. obvs., we like peas.

'wine country mesclun' | so pretty

perennial herb strip | 40 or so feet of new plants:
various lavenders, thymes, mint, scented geranium, sage & curry plant.
we have really clay soil, so all 11 spaces had to be dug out (ouch)
and amended liberally. it's the year of digging.

oh but aren't they pretty | digging, what digging

curry plant | silvery needle leaves and they taste like... yup, curry

new climbing rose | 'gloire de dijon'
i randomly saw a picture of this rose once, bookmarked it,
then finally found a grower who sells them. not easy.
to me, the petals look like gathers and folds of soft fabric... it just slays me.
smells heavenly too.
hopefully someday our back deck rail will be smothered.

:: NEW PROJECTS ::

the big dig | since Kim asked for it, here's a 'before'
actually it's a 'during': what I dug out today.
(inspiration here)
you'll get your full 'before' soon, Kim!
it's delightfully heinous :)

inspired at home

2011-04-13T22:08:00.000-07:00

It kinda snuck up, but we've been living in our "new" house for 2 years this month. Dude. We bought the place about 7 months before moving in and had some pretty major construction/changes done (new kitchen, bathroom, earthquake retro, new deck, foundation fix, lowered ground level floor, etc etc). Then we moved in and did more ourselves (built retaining wall and garden framework, home office, garage build-out)... but there is still SO MUCH more to do. It's kind of overwhelming.

But, now my time is more flexible... and I'm kinda in that transitional time where I can knock out some nagging projects before buckling down on what's next. So, naturally, little lists are compiling in my head. Here are a couple things. And, of course, give me your ideas if you have some! Need ideas.

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1. Backyard. This week, I'm digging out (or trying to) about 1/3 of our backyard. (J's nanny calls this type of thing "accidental workouts"--my favorite kind.) It's a huge weedy spot that has been forever earmarked as the "necessary" lawn (for the bambino). Never mind that we live across the street from a HUGE park, playground and open space. Tellingly, that project hasn't gotten started in two years. Then, Toby was leafing through a recent Sunset magazine (yeah, I was (pleasantly) shocked too) and he looked up and said, "why don't we just do this instead?" See below. Forget the lawn, we're making a cool gravel courtyard/patio/hangout zone. But, first, I must dig. I'm SORE already.

images: Sunset

2. Custom Woodworking. As his muscles recover from last week's big cabinetry push, Toby (thankfully) remains interested in building beautiful custom wood pieces for our home. When the new Dwell mag arrived today, we were both salivating over the below image (pardon phone pic... we're feeling lazy and I hurt: see item #1). He suggested replacing some of our current bedroom furniture with some cool custom piece. I say yes yes yes, you go husband.

3. The Dining Room. Do you use yours much? Us, sometimes but not enough to make me stop thinking there has got to be a better use of this space. True, Jacky has a cute little craft/drawing table tucked in a corner, but for months now I've been day-dreaming of a library/family drawing/reading room like Amanda's beautiful (ex-dining room) library. I just love it. Anyone else re-invented their dining or other room? I need ideas.

Beyond this, we have a 3rd/guest bedroom & bathroom to build out, my new studio space to finish, setting up the composting area, plus some other unruly garden spaces that need taming. Oh, and maybe knocking some walls down some day. All in good time, right??

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project 365 | 2011 | Week 14

2011-04-11T22:04:00.000-07:00

04 02 11 | flower spike!
it's hugely long, and cuts across the top of the stairs outside.
but i'll happy duck around this pretty sign of Spring.

04 03 11 | hmm. where to begin.
Something like: The fire pole scene from The Fire Cat
meets broken hard hat, meets a layered jammie mood.

04 04 11 | back to bread
In my final work week, I was exhausted
and took a week off baking. Nice to be back.

04 05 11 | Toby's big undertaking
18 sheets of Latvian Birch.
8 days locked away in the garage/wood shop.
(3 with my help, I might add.)
Awesomeness is imminent.

04 06 11 | Schoolhouse ROCKS
I'm pretty firmly in the No TV for Youngsters camp,
but I'm finding I'm so OK with the occasional video
about the Mayflower or conjunction junctions.

04 07 11 | new garden station
one of the smaller projects Toby's working on.
perfectly sized for my seed-starting rig.

04 08 11 | his breast friend
he wants to wear it, lay on it, have me wear it
have me read books to him while wearing it
cuddle with him "nursing style" while wearing it
we are nurturing central

blood orange rum punch

2011-04-09T22:22:00.000-07:00

At least that's what I'm calling it. At the first sip tonight -- sweet, fruity and deceptively smooth -- I was transported back in time to our honeymoon in Turks & Caicos. Um, have you been? I've only been to a couple of places in the Caribbean, so maybe it's like this all over, but in T&C, our hotel picked us up at the airport with a magical cooler filled with the fixins for delicious fruity, strong rum punch. Like the above. Nice, huh?

No, life saving. (If I may be a tad dramatic.) Allow me to paint a picture.

It was January. We were married the previous October, but delayed the honeymoon due to work commitments. So, it was the dead of Winter... flying to T&C via New York. The only flights available required the dreaded short overnight layover: too long to hang in the airport, too short to get any real rest. So, we opted for an airport hotel room, near JFK. Our cab driver took an hour to FIND the on-grounds hotel (tick tock, sleepy time dwindling)... too many weird access roads none of us had ever been on. Finally checked in, got a tablespoon of sleep. Pried ourselves out of bed and got on the flight to T&C. Attire: east coast in winter. Boots, jeans, sweater. We'd change once we arrived, right? .... right? Nope, luggage lost in the ether, bogged down in island time. (i.e., no one knows, no huge rush to figure it out. you been there too?)

So, of course... we wait and wait in the tiny airport, and it finally sinks in. Yes, we heard luggage gets lost there all the time, and ours is gone. So... of course, I start to tear up. It's our honeymoon. I'm in leather boots in the tropics. It's all magical and romantic and balmy outside. I'm EXTREMELY sleep deprived. Suck-tastic. I'm trying not to, but I'm getting weepy. So, we mope outside to head to the hotel, to "figure it all out" -- and my new best friend, the pick-up/drop-off lady, is waiting for us with The Special Cooler. I had heard of this in advance, so when she offered a nice rum punch (probably wondering WHAT was wrong with these crazy Americans)... I'm sure I barely heard the question: it was just YES, yes, yes. Please. Ahhh. We were laughing about our predicament by half-way to the hotel.

Not to say that our stuff showed up any earlier than 3 days later. Because it didn't. We bought cheesy T&C tank tops and drank more punch. And learned: for goodness sake, pack some hot weather stuff in your carry on! So dumb.

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Blood Orange Rum Punch
Adapted from La Cucina Italiana -- yup, the tropics via Italy.

Makes 1 drink.
Note: if you double it for two drinks, the big end of your cocktail jigger is 1.5 oz. I measured.

3/4 oz fresh blood orange juice
3/4 oz dark rum (I used some Cuban rum, a souvenir from the Caymans. Need more island time, now.)
3/4 oz light rum (ditto)
good squeeze of agave nectar (original recipe calls for 1/4 oz simple syrup, which I didn't have)
1 (1-inch) strip orange zest
Blood orange bitters -- we had some of this on hand, finally a use for it! You could use regular bitters.

Fill a cocktail shaker with ice and add juice, rums, agave nectar. Shake until your hand is so cold it hurts. Squeeze orange zest over a coupe or other cocktail glass, making sure the orange oils get inside the glass. Swipe the rim with the rind and discard. Add 1 dash of bitters to glass. Strain shaker's contents into the prepared glass.

Breathe deep, relax, and envision big, puffy trade wind clouds.

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making me happy

2011-04-06T22:20:00.000-07:00

In this strange, wonderful transitional time, I'm trying to keep my balance by clinging close to what I love and embracing the new. Lately, I've been loving:

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strong, healthy bodies | this week, we're working on a new workspace for my future whathaveyou. actually, toby has been at it since last week. he's feeling pummeled, but the work continues. next week, I'm digging up an extremely unruly part of the backyard. i'm so thankful we can lift, drill, bang and dig.

new routines | if we're running a little behind in the morning, so be it. we make the rules. everyone's happier.

bulk beans from scratch | what took me so long? lately, a tender, perfectly cooked RG Cannellini is just so wonderful. thankfully, Jacky agrees.

slugs | or rather, LACK THEREOF. Mercifully, the slug army has changed course. things are growing and we are eating them. rather than the slugs and their nightmarish midnight feeding frenzies. ugh!

wee wee in the potty | nuff said, right? we're not "there" yet, but on the way. ce-le-brate good times, come on.

the beach | a little before our season, but why not bundle up and lounge in the sand a bit? we found the perfect dune-top perch on Monday. with a bulldozer nearby. heaven, obviously.

snuggling "nursing style" | our particular toddler is a bit hot & cold on giving big crazy, luxurious snuggles... some weeks, no way. this week, all the way. and, J has recently been interested in babies who nurse. human babies, animal babies, etc. while he no longer partakes of the special mama product, his current interpretation of "nursing" is getting cuddled up (with long, gangly legs), cradle style and being sung to. Hey, he's 30+ pounds, but it works for me. Co-zee.

tiny, baby potatoes | just steamed. maybe a little aioli.

sourdough starter goes viral | there's a passage in one of the Little House books where Laura tells a neighbor who's not familiar with keeping a starter: you just feed it with scraps when you bake something, and it's always ready for you. (to grossly paraphrase.) I've been baking bread with my starter since last October, but have only recently used it in pancakes and even muffins (was running low on baking powder--it worked). I keep thinking of trying it in pizza dough, which is a natural fit. but, I hate to tread on Toby's speciality and "fix" something that ain't broke. but, I do love my little bowl of hungry micros.

lavender & chamomile oil | base oil from this recipe. just the thing to rub on a tuckered out little dude after a bath. heavenly. (gahhh, when's my bath?)

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What about you? What's making you smile?